In my imagination — because I have no scientific data to back me up — I can easily credit the survival of the human species to men and women deciding to sleep together in the same bed…
Category: Humor/Fiction
READY, FIRE, AIM: I’m Gonna Sit Right Down and Write Myself a Letter
How we got to this place — where we can’t figure out how to hold a successful election during a little public health crisis, because the current President won’t approve the funding — I blame myself for that…
READY, FIRE, AIM: Why I Embrace Social Distancing
I can give you a bunch of reasons why Darlene and I deserved to get a divorce. Most could be filed in the dossier labeled “Irreconcilable Differences”…
READY, FIRE, AIM: Why Didn’t They Use Their Heads?
I came across a book at the thrift store yesterday, and snapped it right up. A Dozen Dinosaurs; by Richard Armour; illustrations by Paul Galdone; McGraw-Hill,1967. In good condition…
READY, FIRE, AIM: The Fruit Bats Speak Their Minds
A group of ‘neuroecologists’ have been analyzing the unpleasantly high-pitched squeals of Egyptian fruit bats in order to find out what, exactly, the bats are talking about…
READY, FIRE, AIM: The Problem with the Gold Standard
“She has called a convicted counterfeiter who sold gold coins with President Trump’s face on them ‘the Rosa Parks of monetary policy’…”
READY, FIRE, AIM: Phobias for Every Occasion
Psychologists can’t agree on why so many people are deathly afraid of spiders, considering that most of them are absolutely harmless, and even kind of cute…
READY, FIRE, AIM: The Annual Suburban Invasion
Some Daily Post readers may not realize that the Chevy Suburban is very close to becoming the “National Vehicle of Texas”…
READY, FIRE, AIM: Sightseeing on the Moon
“Then, we will use what we learn on and around the Moon to take the next giant leap – sending astronauts to Mars….”
READY, FIRE, AIM: My Conspiracy Theories
One of my favorite conspiracy theories — and once again, hoping I don’t get locked up for talking about it — is that the Federal Reserve has been colluding with the US Department of the Treasury and the Internal Revenue Service…
READY, FIRE, AIM: Laughter is the Best Medicine
Heaven knows, we could use the best medicine right about now. And I mean, a hefty dose. (No person has yet died of an overdose, as far as I can tell…)
READY, FIRE, AIM: Breath Mint? No Thanks…
Ah, yes. I remember 1976. People were still booking flights on airplanes, and the stewardesses still felt free to hit on the passengers…
READY, FIRE, AIM: Where the Buffalo Roam
Around that time, a group of pioneering conservationists including William T. Hornaday and Theodore Roosevelt decided to save the buffalo from extinction…
READY, FIRE, AIM: My European Vacation, Spoiled
I’ve never been to Europe, and if the truth be known, I had no absolutely intentions of visiting Europe anytime soon — until this atrocity unfolded. But now…
READY, FIRE, AIM: Don’t Blame Me, Blame the Cows
Who knew that it could take so much water to make a double-cheeseburger? One calculation puts it at 450 gallons per quarter-pounder. And that doesn’t count the bun…
HUMOR: Business Hospice Opens in Stinkwater Springs
“We have to take our clients step by step through the death and grieving process until they can see the possibilities for life after business death….”
READY, FIRE, AIM: You Can’t Take It With You
The US Government Accountability Office (GAO), an independent investigative agency that reports to Congress, discovered the problem and issued some suggestions…
READY, FIRE, AIM: Simply Naked Pita Chips
I didn’t even notice, until I got to the self-check-out, that the women draped across the package were all fully clothed, and in fact, professionally attired…
HUMOR: What’s Your Blight!
“Stinkwater is also just about the friendliest blight in the country. So many blighted places are full of grim, angry and violent people. We could market Stinkwater as ‘Blight with a Smile’…”