Such is the InfoWars I envision: An infinite virtual surface teeming with ads. Not just ads, but scams! Not just scams, but lies with no object, free radical misinformation, sentences and images so poorly thought out that they are unhealthy even to view for just a few seconds…
— from “At Long Last, InfoWars Is Ours” by Bryce P. Tetraeder, Global Tetrahedron CEO, on TheOnion.info, April 20, 2026.
I had to laugh. I knew today’s column would focus on the sale of the bankrupt website ‘InfoWars.com” to Global Tetrahedron, the company that owns the satirical news and entertainment outlet, The Onion.
Sure, the situation itself was amusing enough. But when I searched for a photo to illustrate today’s column, my search suggested a photo of a ski jumper’s rear end.
How weirdly appropriate.
A defiant Alex Jones signed off on his final ‘InfoWars’ broadcast this past May 1, announcing that his Austin, Texas studio was shutting down. “They’re turning the power off at midnight,” Jones said toward the close of his show.
He wasn’t joking. Here’s how the website looked on May 2.
Indeed… information has become something of a war these days, and many are the innocent victims.
The internet conspiracy hub called ‘InfoWars.com’ was never known for its sense of humor. In one particularly unfunny incident, host and owner Alex Jones announced that the mass murder at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut was a staged hoax. The families of the victims sued Mr. Jones for defamation, and in a landmark case, the court awarded the families $1.5 billion in damages. This too was not a joke.
Mr. Jones declared bankruptcy and InfoWars.com went into receivership, to be auctioned off to the highest bidder.
That’s where things begin to get slightly less serious.
But only slightly.
The staff at the satirical news outlet, The Onion, began joking about bidding to buy InfoWars. And on April 20, 2026, The Onion announced a deal whereby they would operate the website as a comedy destination and donate profits (some? or all?) to the Sandy Hook families, who thus far have received nothing — zip, nada — from a bankrupt Alex Jones.
InfoWars, under Alex Jones, may have been extraordinarily profitable, mainly through the sale of nutritional supplements and merchandise that was marked up, by some estimates, as much as 900%. The website Owler.com estimated InfoWars’ annual income at up to $5 million. Still, that’s a drop in the bucket compared to $1.5 billion owed to the Sandy Hook families.
Then a Texas appeals court issued a temporary stay, preventing Glodal Tetrahedron — the company that owns The Onion — from using the InfoWars website they had purchased.
The Onion has nevertheless announced their first InfoWars broadcast will take place today, July 2, hosted by comedian Tim Heidecker — who, not incidentally, did an excellent impersonation of Alex Jones in an earlier Onion YouTube broadcast.
As a humor columnist, I often struggle to find funny things to write about. Especially lately. The world seems a lot less comical than it did when I started this “Ready, Fire, Aim” column in 2006. Maybe that’s just because I’m 20 years older.
Or maybe because beer had gotten more expensive. Or it contains less alcohol?
But it’s entirely possible that my fellow Americans are simply anxious about everything, and have forgotten that laughter is the best medicine.
The writers and producers at The Onion have been doing the best they can. For one thing, they altered the InfoWars logo and added some color and their own decorative onion-influenced detail.
The irreverent staff working at The Onion has been busy distributing humor by any means possible.
Your Horoscope
Pisces (February 19 to March 20):
Remember—any personal slight, no matter how small, is another sign of the vast conspiracy against you.
The Onion recently announced the revival of the print version, which gets mailed out monthly.
Reportedly, the revival of the print version has been profitable. And we all want humor to be profitable, right?
Clearly, however, hate and conspiracy theories are even more profitable.
Until you get sued.
Underrated writer Louis Cannon grew up in the vast American West, although his ex-wife, given the slightest opportunity, will deny that he ever grew up at all. You can read more stories on his Substack account.