Who knew that it could take so much water to make a double-cheeseburger? One calculation puts it at 450 gallons per quarter-pounder. And that doesn’t count the bun…
Category: Humor/Fiction
HUMOR: Business Hospice Opens in Stinkwater Springs
“We have to take our clients step by step through the death and grieving process until they can see the possibilities for life after business death….”
READY, FIRE, AIM: You Can’t Take It With You
The US Government Accountability Office (GAO), an independent investigative agency that reports to Congress, discovered the problem and issued some suggestions…
READY, FIRE, AIM: Simply Naked Pita Chips
I didn’t even notice, until I got to the self-check-out, that the women draped across the package were all fully clothed, and in fact, professionally attired…
HUMOR: What’s Your Blight!
“Stinkwater is also just about the friendliest blight in the country. So many blighted places are full of grim, angry and violent people. We could market Stinkwater as ‘Blight with a Smile’…”
READY, FIRE, AIM: The Risks and The Benefits of Social Intercourse
The part of this law I wonder about is the “reasonable excuse” part. How reasonable does an excuse need to be, before the government considers it “reasonable”?
READY, FIRE, AIM: The Problem with Statues
“Historically, we’ve seen our share of racial oppression here in our little community,” explained County Commissioner Jerry Waddles, speaking last week…
READY, FIRE, AIM: Adventures in a COVID-Free Paradise
But I also hear that international travel is opening up. The airplanes are flying again. It’s not like we’re stuck here in a blood-red country…
READY, FIRE, AIM: Plop, Plop… Fizz, Fizz… Oh, What a Mistake It Is
As he peddles a dangerous product with his seemingly innocent jingle, Speedy doesn’t reveal to us the main ingredients in Alka-Seltzer: aspirin, sodium bicarbonate, and anhydrous citric acid…
READY, FIRE, AIM: Those Crazy COVID Theories
I was too young, in the early 1960s, to have any memory of the original Twilight Zone TV series — but I did enjoy the “revival” of the series that ran on CBS in the mid-1980s…
READY, FIRE, AIM: The Undying Dream of Space Travel
Because of the COVID pandemic, NASA is encouraging people to watch the liftoff from home, on a sanitized device, rather than gathering on nearby Florida beaches with their binoculars and iPhones…
READY, FIRE, AIM: Coffee & Dinosaurs
The smaller mug was a Christmas present from my niece, purchased during a trip to the Smithsonian Museum a few years ago when she was still a young child. It’s decorated with drawings of dinosaurs…
HMPRESENTLY: Badass Dems for America… What’s Next?
Right here, right below, is the first draft, with parenthetical notes about… let’s call it, ‘the anatomy of a strategic plan’…
READY, FIRE, AIM: One Size, Fits All
I finally got my COVID stimulus check in the mail, and the weather being so nice, I decided to head over to Walmart and buy some new shorts…
DEVIL MOUNTAIN CHRONICLES: Genghis Khan (and The Horse He Rode In On)
Genghis Khan (1162 –1227) insisted that all young Mongol men marry older women. He felt that a more mature woman had greater wisdom and sense…
READY, FIRE, AIM: I Hate Masks
I am not going to win this thing with logic. Logic has no bearing whatsoever on the situation…
HUMOR: A Brighter Shade of Orange
But Democrats would be wise to indulge the president’s desire to have his name associated with everything connected with the novel coronavirus pandemic…
READY, FIRE, AIM: The Cure
“I have some excellent news,” the President said with his usual confident smile. “Actually, two pieces of excellent news…”