I’ve been getting occasional political ads in my emails, lately, from candidates I’ve never heard of.
Seems like some kind of election is going on?
One of the candidates is my district’s current representative in the U.S. House, Lauren Boebert.
I didn’t hear much from Ms. Boebert during her first 18 months in office, however. Although I sometimes heard about Ms. Boebert. I suppose we’ve all heard about Ms. Boebert.
This week, she sent me — or someone sent me — a campaign email. (How do these people get my email address?) And I noticed a peculiar statement, in reference to Ms. Boebert’s “strong support for the joint Water Conservancy District’s grant application seeking assistance from the National Resources Conservation Service (NRCS) to improve 566 water storage and delivery projects throughout the San Luis Valley…”
Congresswoman Lauren Boebert said, “My top three priorities are water, water, and water.”
This statement had me confused.
I don’t believe water, water, and water, are three different things. I believe they are the same thing, repeated three times. It’s very likely that ‘water’ is Ms. Boebert’s top priority, but I really can’t see how it can be her top three priorities. That doesn’t make sense.
And I’m also pretty sure that, regardless of the email I received, ‘guns’ are one of Ms. Boebert’s top three priorities, considering all of the photos I’ve seen of her, wearing a gun, or holding a gun, or shooting a gun, or posing in her restaurant in Rifle, Colorado, that is named ‘Shooter’s Grill’.
If I hadn’t received the informative email this week, I would have suspected that Ms. Boebert’s top three priorities are “guns, guns, and guns.”
Now that I think of it, I have never seen a photo of Ms. Boebert holding a glass of water. Or watering her lawn. Or swimming in a swimming pool.
I’ve seen lots of gun photos, and I can understand an elected representative wanting to protect our Constitutional right to own guns. But do we have a Constitutional right to drink water? I guess we actually don’t have that right.
I did once see a photo of Ms. Boebert serving beer to her customers at ‘Shooter’s Grill’. This was before she was elected. And beer is mostly water. So that’s something.
Can you actually learn something about a person, by looking at the things they pose with?
Like, if someone poses with hemp plants, does that mean something about the person?
This photo, above, shows Montrose politician Don Coram posing in a greenhouse full of hemp plants. Mr. Coram is running against Ms. Boebert in the Republican primary election this month.
We do not have a Constitutional right to grow hemp. In fact, the U.S. government has, since 1937, considered hemp plants to be more dangerous than guns. No one has ever been able to explain how, exactly, hemp plants are dangerous, except that they look like marijuana plants.
The Agriculture Improvement Act of 2018 authorized the production of hemp, and removed hemp and hemp seeds from the Drug Enforcement Administration’s (DEA) schedule of Controlled Substances. Hemp is not a drug, and has never been a drug. Nevertheless, for 80 years, it was against the law to grow hemp in America.
But I guess we need to be thankful for small favors. At least the DEA has never considered ‘water’ to be a dangerous drug. That would have been awkward. I bet even Lauren Boebert would have made a fuss about that.
Underrated writer Louis Cannon grew up in the vast American West, although his ex-wife, given the slightest opportunity, will deny that he ever grew up at all.