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Author: Louis Cannon

Underrated writer Louis Cannon grew up in the vast American West, although his ex-wife, given the slightest opportunity, will deny that he ever grew up at all. You can read more stories on his Substack account.

READY, FIRE, AIM: Where’s My Vaccine Lottery Ticket?

Posted on May 17, 2021May 17, 2021 by Louis Cannon

My mom and dad could easily have moved to Ohio before I was born, and I could have attended public school in Columbus, or Toledo… and gone to college at Kent State or Youngstown…

Posted in Humor/Fiction

READY, FIRE, AIM: ‘Baby Bust’, The Sequel

Posted on May 14, 2021May 14, 2021 by Louis Cannon

Those same “certain smart people” are prone to suggest that the declining birth rate is due to well-thought-out decisions on the part of young Chinese adults…

Posted in Humor/Fiction

READY, FIRE, AIM: Where Have All the Babies Gone?

Posted on May 11, 2021May 11, 2021 by Louis Cannon

Once upon a time — long, long ago, it now seems — there was a “baby boom”. Now we have a “baby bust”…

Posted in Humor/Fiction

READY, FIRE, AIM: When Billionaires Get Divorced

Posted on May 6, 2021May 6, 2021 by Louis Cannon

Apparently — judging by the joint public announcement — Bill and Melinda at one point believed they could grow together as a couple. But they’ve changed their minds…

Posted in Humor/Fiction

READY, FIRE, AIM: Why the Republicans Love Me

Posted on May 5, 2021May 6, 2021 by Louis Cannon

Has anyone ever heard Mitch McConnell, for example, tell a funny story? I don’t believe so…

Posted in Humor/Fiction
READY, FIRE, AIM: The Colors of My Emoji

READY, FIRE, AIM: The Colors of My Emoji

Posted on May 3, 2021May 3, 2021 by Louis Cannon

“iPadOS 14.5 adds support for AirTag and introduces separate skin tone variations for emoji…”

Posted in Humor/Fiction

READY, FIRE, AIM: The Last Screw Has Been Added

Posted on April 28, 2021April 28, 2021 by Louis Cannon

“Between me and the machine, there is no estrangement. I am the machine…”

Posted in Humor/Fiction
READY, FIRE, AIM: Sir Isaac Newton Ruined My Life

READY, FIRE, AIM: Sir Isaac Newton Ruined My Life

Posted on April 27, 2021May 15, 2025 by Louis Cannon

Here’s a oil portrait of my (distant) relative, posing in his bathrobe at age 46…

Posted in Humor/Fiction

READY, FIRE, AIM: Through a Glass, Darkly

Posted on April 26, 2021April 26, 2021 by Louis Cannon

Here is the “Global Trends” logo, that appears on page 2 of the report, and which I personally think would make a great logo for a video game…

Posted in Humor/Fiction
READY, FIRE, AIM: The Greenest State in the Known Universe

READY, FIRE, AIM: The Greenest State in the Known Universe

Posted on April 23, 2021April 23, 2021 by Louis Cannon

I’ve never been to Vermont, but I’ve been to a lot of other states, and I’ve always thought Colorado was the “Greenest State”. WalletHub, however, ranked Colorado as number 17…

Posted in Humor/Fiction

READY, FIRE, AIM: Am I Suffering From Cave Syndrome?

Posted on April 22, 2021April 22, 2021 by Louis Cannon

Yes, I will admit, I’m “attached to the anxiety of uncertainty.” That’s not an entirely new thing…

Posted in Humor/Fiction

READY, FIRE, AIM: How Many T. Rexes Were There?

Posted on April 20, 2021April 20, 2021 by Louis Cannon

Here’s an imaginative illustration of a Tyrannosaurs Rex, in a bad mood…

Posted in Humor/Fiction

READY, FIRE, AIM: My Fear of Extraterrestrials, Explained

Posted on April 19, 2021April 19, 2021 by Louis Cannon

For one thing, people generally have the mistaken notion that “aliens”will look like slightly deformed humans…

Posted in Humor/Fiction

READY, FIRE, AIM: The Variants… Infectious and Otherwise

Posted on April 15, 2021April 15, 2021 by Louis Cannon

We’ve been hearing, lately, about “variants” with names like B.1.1.7 (United Kingdom)… B.1.351 (South Africa)… P.1 (Brazil)… B.1.1.207 (Nigeria)… B.1.427 and B.1.429 (United States)…

Posted in Humor/Fiction
READY, FIRE, AIM: The Game is Rigged

READY, FIRE, AIM: The Game is Rigged

Posted on April 13, 2021April 13, 2021 by Louis Cannon

Mr. Mechanic didn’t use too many foreign words in his actual article, and all the words over two syllables were pretty familiar to me. Like, “entitlement”. Everybody is using that word, nowadays…

Posted in Humor/Fiction
READY, FIRE, AIM: The World Has Become Too Complicated

READY, FIRE, AIM: The World Has Become Too Complicated

Posted on April 12, 2021April 12, 2021 by Louis Cannon

When I was a kid, my mom handled the shopping duties for the family. All the bread was shaped the same. All the Crisco cans were the same size…

Posted in Humor/Fiction

READY, FIRE, AIM: Why Do We Procrastinate?

Posted on April 7, 2021April 7, 2021 by Louis Cannon

“Tomorrow” is way too soon. Certain things can wait almost forever. And deserve to…

Posted in Humor/Fiction

READY, FIRE, AIM: Interview with the Easter Bunny

Posted on April 5, 2021April 5, 2021 by Louis Cannon

“Yes, I know; that’s hard to believe. 50 billion colored eggs. And that doesn’t include the chocolate eggs or the marshmallow chicks and ducks…”

Posted in Humor/Fiction
READY, FIRE, AIM: I Totally Missed April Fools Day

READY, FIRE, AIM: I Totally Missed April Fools Day

Posted on April 2, 2021April 2, 2021 by Louis Cannon

It got so bad that the First Day of Spring was being celebrated on April 1. That’s when Pope Gregory XIII decided he’d had quite enough of this nonsense…

Posted in Humor/Fiction
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Latest News

  • EDITORIAL: The Problematic Tourist-Friendly Pig Farm on Highway 84, Part Two October 26, 2026
  • Archuleta Schools Reopen Today; Students Who Remain Home Excused October 26, 2026
  • Pagosa Peak ‘Haunted House’ Rescheduled for Tonight & Tomorrow, Oct. 26 & 27 October 26, 2026
  • San Juan National Forest Clearing Roadways After Flood Event October 26, 2026
  • READY, FIRE, AIM: The Flood October 26, 2026
  • Early Voting in Colorado Outpaces 2022 Midterms October 26, 2026
  • INTERVIEW: Alaskan Music Group Blackwater Railroad October 26, 2026
  • League of Women Voters Cancels Today’s Scheduled Meeting October 26, 2026
  • OPINION: Federal Government Cannot Interfere in Election Certification October 26, 2026
  • Chimney Rock ‘Dating Game’ Lecture Canceled October 26, 2026

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