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Author: Louis Cannon

Underrated writer Louis Cannon grew up in the vast American West, although his ex-wife, given the slightest opportunity, will deny that he ever grew up at all. You can read more stories on his Substack account.
READY, FIRE, AIM: The Greenest State in the Known Universe

READY, FIRE, AIM: The Greenest State in the Known Universe

Posted on April 23, 2021April 23, 2021 by Louis Cannon

I’ve never been to Vermont, but I’ve been to a lot of other states, and I’ve always thought Colorado was the “Greenest State”. WalletHub, however, ranked Colorado as number 17…

Posted in Humor/Fiction

READY, FIRE, AIM: Am I Suffering From Cave Syndrome?

Posted on April 22, 2021April 22, 2021 by Louis Cannon

Yes, I will admit, I’m “attached to the anxiety of uncertainty.” That’s not an entirely new thing…

Posted in Humor/Fiction

READY, FIRE, AIM: How Many T. Rexes Were There?

Posted on April 20, 2021April 20, 2021 by Louis Cannon

Here’s an imaginative illustration of a Tyrannosaurs Rex, in a bad mood…

Posted in Humor/Fiction

READY, FIRE, AIM: My Fear of Extraterrestrials, Explained

Posted on April 19, 2021April 19, 2021 by Louis Cannon

For one thing, people generally have the mistaken notion that “aliens”will look like slightly deformed humans…

Posted in Humor/Fiction

READY, FIRE, AIM: The Variants… Infectious and Otherwise

Posted on April 15, 2021April 15, 2021 by Louis Cannon

We’ve been hearing, lately, about “variants” with names like B.1.1.7 (United Kingdom)… B.1.351 (South Africa)… P.1 (Brazil)… B.1.1.207 (Nigeria)… B.1.427 and B.1.429 (United States)…

Posted in Humor/Fiction
READY, FIRE, AIM: The Game is Rigged

READY, FIRE, AIM: The Game is Rigged

Posted on April 13, 2021April 13, 2021 by Louis Cannon

Mr. Mechanic didn’t use too many foreign words in his actual article, and all the words over two syllables were pretty familiar to me. Like, “entitlement”. Everybody is using that word, nowadays…

Posted in Humor/Fiction
READY, FIRE, AIM: The World Has Become Too Complicated

READY, FIRE, AIM: The World Has Become Too Complicated

Posted on April 12, 2021April 12, 2021 by Louis Cannon

When I was a kid, my mom handled the shopping duties for the family. All the bread was shaped the same. All the Crisco cans were the same size…

Posted in Humor/Fiction

READY, FIRE, AIM: Why Do We Procrastinate?

Posted on April 7, 2021April 7, 2021 by Louis Cannon

“Tomorrow” is way too soon. Certain things can wait almost forever. And deserve to…

Posted in Humor/Fiction

READY, FIRE, AIM: Interview with the Easter Bunny

Posted on April 5, 2021April 5, 2021 by Louis Cannon

“Yes, I know; that’s hard to believe. 50 billion colored eggs. And that doesn’t include the chocolate eggs or the marshmallow chicks and ducks…”

Posted in Humor/Fiction
READY, FIRE, AIM: I Totally Missed April Fools Day

READY, FIRE, AIM: I Totally Missed April Fools Day

Posted on April 2, 2021April 2, 2021 by Louis Cannon

It got so bad that the First Day of Spring was being celebrated on April 1. That’s when Pope Gregory XIII decided he’d had quite enough of this nonsense…

Posted in Humor/Fiction
READY, FIRE, AIM: The Romance of All-Day Protection

READY, FIRE, AIM: The Romance of All-Day Protection

Posted on April 1, 2021April 1, 2021 by Louis Cannon

I’m thinking about protection this morning, because some forms of protection have a time limit…

Posted in Humor/Fiction
READY, FIRE, AIM: The Ultimate Goal of Human Existence

READY, FIRE, AIM: The Ultimate Goal of Human Existence

Posted on March 31, 2021March 31, 2021 by Louis Cannon

Those of us blessed with a healthy dose of skepticism will argue that just making it through the day, well-fed and alive, is not the primary goal of human existence…

Posted in Humor/Fiction

READY, FIRE, AIM: What Happened to My Shoes?

Posted on March 29, 2021March 29, 2021 by Louis Cannon

Above is a photo of a cargo ship owned by Chidori Ship Holding LLC — the ONE Apus — capable of carrying 14,000 twenty-foot cargo containers…

Posted in Humor/Fiction
READY, FIRE, AIM: Women's History Month, 2021

READY, FIRE, AIM: Women’s History Month, 2021

Posted on March 26, 2021March 26, 2021 by Louis Cannon

The biggest changes, however, took place when women began to graduate from colleges with degrees in history, and history books began to acknowledge that women existed…

Posted in Humor/Fiction

READY, FIRE, AIM: The Elites… Good, Bad, and Ugly

Posted on March 25, 2021March 25, 2021 by Louis Cannon

What everybody doesn’t know is that it’s an empirical inevitability that Elites — through their accumulated wealth — will rule your country, whether you live in the US, or China, or Russia, or Egypt…

Posted in Humor/Fiction
READY, FIRE, AIM: To Meat or Not to Meat, That is the Question

READY, FIRE, AIM: To Meat or Not to Meat, That is the Question

Posted on March 22, 2021June 28, 2023 by Louis Cannon

We can wipe the carbon out of our footprints, any day of the week and twice on Sunday. And we can prevent animal cruelty, if we happen to be suffering from “meat guilt”…

Posted in Humor/Fiction

READY, FIRE, AIM: Myths About Your Stimulus Check

Posted on March 18, 2021March 18, 2021 by Louis Cannon

A couple who makes $160,000 a year would be able to do something truly useful with $1,400. Like, say, a trip to Costa Rica…

Posted in Humor/Fiction

READY, FIRE, AIM: The Unalienable Right to Disconnect

Posted on March 15, 2021March 15, 2021 by Louis Cannon

Discussing the need for the law, minister El Khomri noted “the boundary between professional and personal life has become tenuous…”

Posted in Humor/Fiction

READY, FIRE, AIM: I Literally Don’t Know When to Shut Up… and Neither Do You

Posted on March 11, 2021March 11, 2021 by Louis Cannon

Ms. Nuwer proposes here that “science” has confirmed the fact that we don’t know when to shut up. My ex-wife Darlene would also be happy to confirm the fact, no doubt…

Posted in Humor/Fiction
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