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Author: Louis Cannon

Underrated writer Louis Cannon grew up in the vast American West, although his ex-wife, given the slightest opportunity, will deny that he ever grew up at all. You can read more stories on his Substack account.

READY, FIRE, AIM: Myths About Your Stimulus Check

Posted on March 18, 2021March 18, 2021 by Louis Cannon

A couple who makes $160,000 a year would be able to do something truly useful with $1,400. Like, say, a trip to Costa Rica…

Posted in Humor/Fiction

READY, FIRE, AIM: The Unalienable Right to Disconnect

Posted on March 15, 2021March 15, 2021 by Louis Cannon

Discussing the need for the law, minister El Khomri noted “the boundary between professional and personal life has become tenuous…”

Posted in Humor/Fiction

READY, FIRE, AIM: I Literally Don’t Know When to Shut Up… and Neither Do You

Posted on March 11, 2021March 11, 2021 by Louis Cannon

Ms. Nuwer proposes here that “science” has confirmed the fact that we don’t know when to shut up. My ex-wife Darlene would also be happy to confirm the fact, no doubt…

Posted in Humor/Fiction

READY, FIRE, AIM: Is It Safe to Kiss, Yet?

Posted on March 10, 2021March 10, 2021 by Louis Cannon

Reading through the CDC’s March 8 guidance, I found 29 references to “risk” behaviors. But the word “kiss” doesn’t appear anywhere in the entire document…

Posted in Humor/Fiction

READY, FIRE, AIM: Relishing Our Rage

Posted on March 9, 2021March 9, 2021 by Louis Cannon

How many of us have been feeling like this, lately?

Posted in Humor/Fiction
READY, FIRE, AIM: I Don't Even Trust Myself

READY, FIRE, AIM: I Don’t Even Trust Myself

Posted on March 8, 2021February 27, 2022 by Louis Cannon

I might be the only one around who is admitting that my columns are fake news, which in a sense makes me the only honest person in the room…

Posted in Humor/Fiction
READY, FIRE, AIM: Bad News for the Highly Intelligent

READY, FIRE, AIM: Bad News for the Highly Intelligent

Posted on March 4, 2021March 4, 2021 by Louis Cannon

This curve purportedly demonstrates the distribution of IQ Test scores in the general population. Most of us are somewhere in the middle, near the top of the curve…

Posted in Humor/Fiction

READY, FIRE, AIM: My Imposter Syndrome

Posted on March 1, 2021March 1, 2021 by Louis Cannon

I would certainly prefer to have ‘imposter phenomenon’ but I realize I don’t deserve that particular label. So I’m stuck with a syndrome…

Posted in Humor/Fiction

READY, FIRE, AIM: How About Fish for Dinner?

Posted on February 24, 2021February 24, 2021 by Louis Cannon

She was especially fond of sardines with soda crackers. The ones packed in olive oil…

Posted in Humor/Fiction

READY, FIRE, AIM: A Few Good Reasons Why I Love Donald Trump

Posted on February 18, 2021February 18, 2021 by Louis Cannon

And speaking of intelligence, another thing I love about President Trump is his generosity…

Posted in Humor/Fiction

READY, FIRE, AIM: I Lost My Learning… Can Joe Biden Help?

Posted on February 16, 2021February 16, 2021 by Louis Cannon

Those are just a few of the vocabulary words that have been lost — forever? — as a result of the transition to “remote learning” during the COVID pandemic….

Posted in Humor/Fiction

READY, FIRE, AIM: Am I Blue? … I Mean, Level Blue?

Posted on February 15, 2021February 15, 2021 by Louis Cannon

Billie Holiday may have said it best, in 1947…

Posted in Humor/Fiction
READY, FIRE, AIM: Cupid and the Pandemic of Love

READY, FIRE, AIM: Cupid and the Pandemic of Love

Posted on February 12, 2021March 1, 2021 by Louis Cannon

How could a cute little guy with white wings, a round, pink bum, and curly blond hair be even the slightest bit naughty?

Posted in Humor/Fiction

READY, FIRE, AIM: Some Non-Medical Advice for Those of You Wearing ‘Double Masks’

Posted on February 11, 2021February 11, 2021 by Louis Cannon

A person could get dizzy, listening to and reading about all the controversies around mask-wearing these days…

Posted in Humor/Fiction

READY, FIRE, AIM: Valentine’s Day, It Ain’t What It Used to Be

Posted on February 9, 2021February 9, 2021 by Louis Cannon

These are just some of the ways Valentine’s Day can be enjoyed safely while adhering to pandemic-related safety guidelines…

Posted in Humor/Fiction

READY, AIM, FIRE: Less Than Zero

Posted on February 5, 2021February 5, 2021 by Louis Cannon

Try as we might, we cannot see ‘nothing’. Everything around us seems to be… ‘something’…

Posted in Humor/Fiction
READY, AIM, FIRE: Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend

READY, AIM, FIRE: Diamonds are a Girl’s Best Friend

Posted on February 3, 2021February 3, 2021 by Louis Cannon

Like love, diamonds were once thought to be rare. Then a couple of Dutch farmers named De Beers found more diamonds than they knew what to do with…

Posted in Humor/Fiction

READY, AIM, FIRE: Pessimists of the World, Unite!

Posted on February 1, 2021February 1, 2021 by Louis Cannon

But I have to agree with Ms. Gorvett’s perspective on one thing. Happiness is totally overrated. And totally useless…

Posted in Humor/Fiction

READY, FIRE, AIM: The Shame of Dirty Clothes

Posted on January 28, 2021January 28, 2021 by Louis Cannon

My clothes hamper is nearly full, suggesting a trip to the laundromat this week. Something I’m not looking forward to, on account of the snow and the state of my car’s tires…

Posted in Humor/Fiction
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