I got an email last week from the ‘Lauren Boebert for Congress’ committee, announcing that it had raised over $850,000 in the third quarter of 2021, and that the campaign has now received donations in excess of $2.5 million in the first nine months of Congresswoman Boebert’s first term.
One of the challenging aspects to serving in the US House of Representatives: you have to run for re-election every two years. In the current political climate, that means that you are basically running for re-election constantly, 24/7.
That’s almost as much work as running a restaurant.
The committee’s email also included this brief but thoughtful quote from Congresswoman Boebert:
“The future of our country is at stake. The spike in crime, inflation, and illegal immigration are a direct result of power-hungry liberals shoving honest, hard-working, freedom-loving Americans to the back of the line. I am proud to be fighting every day to make sure we take our country back.”
Boy, I am sooooo glad I’m not a power-hungry liberal.
I mean, to be personally responsible for the spike in crime, inflation, and illegal immigration? I would feel terrible, if I were responsible for those things.
And pushing honest, hard-working, freedom-loving Americans to the back of the line?
I consider myself to be one of those honest, hard-working, freedom-loving Americans… and to be perfectly honest (since, as Ms. Boebert notes, I am honest) I didn’t even know I was in a line… and certainly didn’t realize that I’d been shoved to the back of it.
You learn something new every day.
But since we’re being honest, I cannot actually claim to be hard-working. Writing an occasional humor article for a small-town news magazine is not really hard work. It’s actually a lot of fun. Back when I was in high school, I spent one summer bucking hay bales. Now, that was hard work. You will never catch me bucking hay bales, ever again.
So maybe Congresswoman Boebert isn’t talking about people like me? Who are honest… but maybe not hard-working?
I’m definitely freedom-loving, though. Who doesn’t love freedom? I mean, other than power-hungry liberals.
We all know what power-hungry liberals love. Power. They’re hungry for it. The rest of us, who aren’t power-hungry liberals, are hungry for freedom.
I guess everyone is hungry, except for different things. If we’re being honest.
Every now and then, I’m hungry for a Big Mac. In America, you’re free to buy a Big Mac when you’re feeling hungry. That’s just one small part of being freedom-loving. But sometimes I’m at the back of the line, with other hungry customers ahead of me, and hopefully Ms. Boebert will fix that, at some point.
I assume Congresswoman Boebert and her committee are hungry for campaign contributions, because the email invited me to donate to her campaign fund at LaurenForColorado.com. ($2.5 million is not enough, apparently. But we do have inflation, thanks to power-hungry liberals. $2.5 million is not worth what it used to be, back when we had a freedom-loving government.)
Luckily, Congresswoman Boebert has numerous supporters. (I think this photo is her with some of her supporters, in Washington.) Those supporters are honest and hard-working and freedom-loving, and want to be at the front of the line.
That’s where I want to be, too. At the front of the line. Like Ms. Boebert.
Underrated writer Louis Cannon grew up in the vast American West, although his ex-wife, given the slightest opportunity, will deny that he ever grew up at all.