Another Twitter user asked: “Does your mask hurt your ears at all? I can’t tell if it’s because I’m double masking or if I just have weird ears.”
— from a article in the Washington Post, February 9, 2021
A person could get dizzy, listening to, and reading about, all the controversies around mask-wearing these days.
The ‘double mask’ is now the latest fashion statement — for those interested in showing off their concern for their fellow citizens, or who are deathly afraid of breathing air in public.
Unfortunately, these style-conscious people have discovered that adding a second mask not only cuts their oxygen intake, it also threatens to slice off their ears, which would then make it difficult to keep their eyeglasses in place.
Apparently, though, it will not harm your chances of getting elected Vice President.
My number one tip for people who find ‘double masking’ to be uncomfortable:
1. Stop wearing two masks.
I am not a medical doctor (you probably guessed that anyway) and I don’t want to get in trouble for giving out medical advice without a license, so I will qualify my advice by recommending you consult your physician before you do anything that makes common sense.
I put the number “1” next to my advice, above, to indicate how important it was. The number “1” sometimes indicates that it’s merely the first step in a long series of difficult assignments or requirements, but in this case, it’s actually the only advice you need to consider. I could have labeled it number “10” or number “66” and it wouldn’t have made any difference.
It’s possible that you will ignore my advice (as the person in the photograph, above, probably would, as well.) My feeling will not be hurt.
But your ears will hurt. Mine will not.
When I was a little kid, one of my favorite songs was a TV jingle:
Double your pleasure, double your fun
With double-good, double-good, Doublemint Gum
The TV commercials usually featured a couple of identical twin girls, clicking their packages of chewing gum together in time with the music. This doesn’t make rational sense, because in spite of its name, only one type of mint — peppermint — is used to flavor Doublemint gum. Peppermint does not have a “twin” or a “double”, according to a botanist friend I emailed yesterday. It’s just a plant, and all the plants look pretty much alike. So the name is slightly fraudulent, in my humble opinion.
Nevertheless, the jingle was catchy and the identical twins in the TV commercial were cute, and no doubt a lot of us were brainwashed to think that “two” is better than “one”.
Absolutely not true. For instance, two wives are not better than one, unless you are Mormon.
The question facing so many of us in the midst of this pandemic, however, has nothing to do with chewing gum or holy matrimony. The question is, do I put my ears at risk so I can be fashionable (like certain celebrities) and wear two masks?
Friends, take it from someone who has been divorced twice. It will not double your pleasure, nor will it double your fun.
The masks, I mean. (Ignore what I said about being divorced twice.)
Underrated writer Louis Cannon grew up in the vast American West, although his ex-wife, given the slightest opportunity, will deny that he ever grew up at all.