READY, FIRE, AIM: Why I Took Up Smoking

Common Zoloft side effects may include: indigestion, nausea, diarrhea, loss of appetite, loose stool; increased sweating; tremors; change in sleep habits including increased sleepiness or insomnia; sexual problems, including decreased libido and ejaculation failure… This is not a complete list of side effects, and others may occur…

— from the Zoloft.com website

I came across an interesting article a few years back… an interview with a professor of psychiatry and human ecology at the University of Wisconsin named Charles Raison. I liked his name right away, because I believe the word ‘raison’ is French for ‘reason’, and I think everyone should have reasons for doing what they do, especially psychiatrists.

The article was mostly a transcribed interview with Dr. Raison, and he said a number of interesting things, a couple of which I can still remember. One thing he mentioned, in reference to treating chronic depression, is that we don’t know the long-term effects of antidepressant drugs, taken on a daily basis. I found that fact sort of depressing.

Personally, I’ve never been to a psychiatrist, but I was thoroughly analyzed by my ex-wife, Darlene, on numerous occasions. The analysis was free, but often painful.

Dr. Raison is not your normal psychiatrist, however, because he spends much of his time researching the effects of magic mushrooms — in particular, psilocybin mushrooms — on depression.

I hear that a lot of people are suffering from depression, especially lately, and that includes members of my own family. My mom and dad have been taking antidepressants for as long as I can remember, which is probably the only thing that has allowed them to remain married. My brother takes antidepressants and so does my sister.

For myself, I took up smoking, which I will explain.

Depression is a weird thing, because no one knows where it comes from. In that sense, it’s like pimples. Why do people get pimples? No one seems to know. For thousands of years, people have been getting pimples and no one knows why.

We also don’t know why Joe suffers from depression, and why Bob doesn’t. Or why Joe feels much better when he’s taking Zoloft, but Bob feels much worse.

Of course, Bob shouldn’t be taking Zoloft in the first place, because he wasn’t depressed. What kind of crazy doctor wrote a Zoloft prescription for Bob? A doctor who wasn’t paying attention, obviously.

A more difficult question is whether Bob should be tripping on mushrooms. According to Dr. Raison’s research, people suffering from depression, like Joe, will often come down from a trip on psilocybin mushrooms and find themselves free of depression for several weeks, or months. Which probably beats taking Zoloft every day for the rest of your life.

But what about Bob? He hasn’t been suffering from depression ever since he stopped taking the Zoloft that his crazy doctor prescribed for him.

The question I’m wondering is, if psilocybin can bring Joe out of his chronic depression, what would it do for Bob? Like, maybe lead him into nirvana?

The magazine interview didn’t address that question, so Bob would have probably wasted his time reading it.

Some readers may think that I’m actually talking about myself, and that either Joe or Bob is actually me. This is not the case, I promise. I have, however, taken a rather unorthodox approach to avoiding depression, which as I mentioned, runs in my family.

One of the things Dr. Raison explained in his magazine interview was that depression is often linked to feelings of loneliness, and the scientific data shows that “over time, loneliness is as lethal as smoking two packs of cigarettes a day.”

Two packs of cigarettes seems like a lot.

But I took the doctor’s advice to heart. Ever since reading that article, I’ve been smoking one pack of cigarettes a day. Based on the scientific data, I figure that’s half as lethal as loneliness.

Louis Cannon

Louis Cannon

Underrated writer Louis Cannon grew up in the vast American West, although his ex-wife, given the slightest opportunity, will deny that he ever grew up at all.