“Everyone has heard the story of the three bears and how Goldilocks came in and wreaked havoc on their little home…”
Category: Humor/Fiction
READY, FIRE, AIM: Jaywalking Through America
Criminal activities can be fascinating. When viewed from a reasonable distance…
READY, FIRE, AIM: The Almost Perfect Cat
My cat, Roscoe, is nearly perfect. Not bad, for a $20 donation to the Humane Society. But… can he compete with Qoobo?
READY, FIRE, AIM: The Scratch-N-Sniff Solution
“A central problem in the COVID-19 pandemic is that there is not enough testing to prevent infectious spread of SARS-CoV-2…”
READY, FIRE, AIM: These Explosions of Bullshit
“So we’re going to, we’re going to walk down Pennsylvania Avenue, I love Pennsylvania Avenue, and we’re going to the Capitol and we’re going to try and give… The Democrats are hopeless….”
READY, FIRE, AIM: Pandemic Wine-Food Pairings
This selection pairs perfectly with Carlo Rossi Chianti, a classic Italian table wine that’s rich in flavor and goes well with various chicken dishes…
READY, FIRE, AIM: Am I Essential Yet?
I think we can all agree that prison guards are more essential than school teachers and childcare workers and grocery store employees…
READY, FIRE, AIM: The Newborn King
“She feels like this baby is a pretty big deal. And I kind of agree with her. So we made a little sign to go above the manger…”
READY, FIRE, AIM: Isolation for Dummies
Clearly, isolation offers you a chance to expand your horizons in exciting ways you never would have considered…
READY, FIRE, AIM: The Best Non-Jokes of 2020
It seemed like life simply couldn’t get any funnier…
READY, FIRE, AIM: No News is Good News
Eventually, Pagosa Springs will come back to life and our local newspapers will, once again, have criminal activity and outrageous government blunders to write about…
READY, FIRE, AIM: Where’s My Liability Protection?
Please don’t take this as a cynical criticism, but does Mitch McConnnell look like someone who takes action “fast”?
READY, FIRE, AIM: Nothing is the Same Anymore
A related controversy concerns the direction the team might take with the new name…
READY, FIRE, AIM: The Joys of Obesity
Back in April, when all the toilet paper disappeared, I came to the conclusion that Little Debbie Happy Camper Cakes were probably next to go…
READY, FIRE, AIM: Weddings are Now Essential
“Weddings, Jared. Weddings. Dozens, maybe hundreds of people, of all ages, laughing, drinking champagne, dancing, making speeches. Just think about it…”
HMPRESENTLY: Santa’s TV Interview
“Well, for the most part, we’re seeing what we’ve been seeing, in the past, good kids out there, adapting to sheltering in place and attending school remotely…”
READY, FIRE, AIM: Ain’t No Mountain High Enough
Both Nepal and China sent teams to measure the peak within the past 12 months, and the result ended any differences about the height of the world’s most famous mountain…
READY, FIRE, AIM: Shoot Me Up, Doc
The waiting room was almost empty when I walked in, which should have been a red flag. But I took it as good luck; I wouldn’t have to wait in a long line to get my vaccination…
READY, FIRE, AIM: My Frustrated Dream of Becoming Famous
That was all the encouragement I needed, to start picturing myself in a tuxedo, playing a Steinway and backed by a symphony orchestra…