That old adage.
“Go big, or go home.”
That seems to be what Colorado Attorney General Phil Weiser had on his mind in 2023 when he joined forces with two dozen other Attorneys General to sue Meta — the company responsible for getting millions of children and adults addicted to Facebook and Instagram. The AGs have accused Meta of lying to its customers, collecting data illegally, and ruining the lives of children and their families, to boost company profits.
So, how about suing the company for $1.4 trillion? Considering the millions of social media addicts Meta has created? Especially, the children who got addicted because their parents were busy on social media and weren’t watching their kids?
I mean, the opioid crisis has been pretty hard on America, and pharmaceutical companies, major distributors, and retail pharmacies have agreed to pay a combined total of more than $58 billion in nationwide settlements to resolve lawsuits related to the opioid crisis.
Earlier this month, a New Mexico state court ordered Meta to pay a combined $942 million in 2026 for teen safety violations. But that’s not even a billion dollars.
It sounds like AG Weiser and his AG buddies are “going big” and working to extract a larger settlement. The case opened in federal court on August 18, and the claimed damages are, like, the total equity value of a company market-capped at $1.4 trillion as of August 18.
That’s kind of like someone suing me for $10,000 — which was my total equity value as of August 18.
The case was brought in 2023 by a coalition of 29 state Attorneys General, with California, Colorado, New Jersey, and Kentucky arguing the case first. The remaining 25 states are expected to have separate trials later. Obviously, the Meta lawyers are going to be really rich when this is over, even if Meta itself is bankrupt.
Unfortunately, I probably won’t see any of the profits from the settlement. (I assume Meta will settle.) I don’t have a Facebook account, or an Instagram account, or a WhatsApp account — those being the main platforms owned by Meta.
I find social media to be unnecessary. I can get all the misinformation I need from AI. And I don’t have to waste any time looking as photos of my friends vacationing in Belize.
I guess I could quickly open accounts on those platforms and try to qualify for a few pennies from the settlement, but I don’t have any children living in my house, and this whole uproar seems to be about kids getting addicted and suffering mental illness as a result.
My kids left home a few years ago for college, and beyond. If there even is a ‘beyond’ for kids these days.
And don’t bother telling me I should have more kids. That ship has sailed. And been smashed on the rocks.
Of course, adults are also getting seriously addicted to social media, but we’re supposed to know better.
Anyway, call me heartless if you want, but I suspect the kids who have allowed themselves to get addicted to social media knew what they were doing, and did it anyway, just to piss off their parents.
Which doesn’t mean to imply that Meta isn’t evil. They are. Seriously evil. And I hope that the AGs succeed in bankrupting them.
Gee… maybe I really am heartless?
Underrated writer Louis Cannon grew up in the vast American West, although his ex-wife, given the slightest opportunity, will deny that he ever grew up at all. You can read more stories on his Substack account.