It’s a funny world we live in.
Which makes it much easier to make a living as a humor columnist.
But also, sometimes, a confusing world.
One especially confusing part of the word is my hometown, Pagosa Springs. For some reason, it seems like the town is constantly “under construction”.
There’s been some kind of construction or remodeling project going on, this summer, at the Pagosa Springs Middle School, and two big dumpsters have been occupying the parking spaces along North 4th Street, outside the gymnasium.
Why anyone would want to allow huge dumpsters to occupy important — and rare — parking spaces downtown while the main highway is undergoing reconstruction, I have no idea.
Like I said. Confusing.
Our town leaders have been talking for years about making Pagosa Springs “more pedestrian friendly” and “more walkable”. I guess this is one way to accomplish that. Just get rid of the parking spaces, and force people to walk.
Things got even more confusing yesterday when I was walking past the Middle School — as a friendly pedestrian — and saw a signboard leaning against one of the dumpsters. A ‘readerboard’. The kind with moveable letters.
Bearing a strange message.
The message was strange on several levels.
For one thing, I’ve never seen a pastry — or multiple pastries — soar.
Nor have I ever come across any pastries that appeared to be gasping.
I suppose, if you really wanted to stretch the meaning of the word “pastries”, you could claim that the pies in the famous Laurel and Hardy pie fight were “soaring”.
But I personally would never refer to a “pie” as a “pastry”. Two different animals, in my book.
And even then, that doesn’t solve the “gasping” part.
The message was also strange because a readerboard is usually tasked with announcing useful information, which this was not.
I quickly concluded (as any thinking person would do) that the message on the readerboard had originally announced something totally different, and someone (?) had re-arranged the letters.
But what had the original message been?
A riddle to be solved, based on several clues.
Can you solve it?
We are standing outside the Middle School gymnasium, which is undergoing some type of remodeling.
The gymnasium is used by the Middle School sports teams.
The school sports teams go by the name, “Pagosa Springs Pirates”.
If you re-arrange the letters in that team name, you could ostensibly spell:
Gasping Pastries Soar
Like I said, it’s a funny world. And confusing. And perhaps no place is as funny and confusing as Pagosa Springs.
But if you re-arrange the message “Pagosa Springs Pirates” to read “Gasping Pastries Soar”… you have one letter left over.
You have an extra “P”.
This mystery was partially solved when I found the letter “P” in the gutter, a few yards down the street.
But that only solved the question of the missing letter’s location.
The thing that still disturbs me — and I’m not easily disturbed — is why the someone (?) who re-arranged the letters didn’t include the extra “P”.
Call me fussy, if you want. But it just seems… wrong.
Underrated writer Louis Cannon grew up in the vast American West, although his ex-wife, given the slightest opportunity, will deny that he ever grew up at all. You can read more stories on his Substack account.