HMPRESENTLY: My Plot to Fake Out My PC

Maybe you’re like me, and you’re both amazed — and baffled — by technology.

I’m baffled a lot, because high-tech devices are so smart, and I can’t always keep up with what they’re doing, especially because, whatever they’re doing, they’re doing in such minuscule fractions of time. That’s how quick and sharp they are!

So, I’ve been plotting to try –just once, some way – to bring high tech down a notch, or two. I’m planning to fake out the new PC I had to get, when my old one finally croaked, and I think I know how to do it.

There’s a camera in the new computer that’s gotten to know me. I’m pretty sure it could pick me out among a crowd, which, thankfully, we don’t have right now – crowds, that is – we sure don’t need crowds, right now, because of the pandemic. There were, of course, those Trump campaign rally crowds, a while back, but that’s over with.

But anyway, hypothetically, if there was a crowd that I happened to be in, that camera in my computer, probably, could pick me out, even if I was surrounded by a whole bunch of people.

First thing in the morning, that camera sees me, sizes me up, recognizes me, and — cranking up my new technology device — welcomes me aboard. I can check the Internet and word process to my heart’s content. That’s really cool, but I want to fake out the PC, anyway.

So, I’m thinking… suppose I grow a mustache or a beard? And I find some hat to put on. A beret or a Greek fisherman’s cap, or, maybe, a sombrero, a turban, or one of those warm hats Russians wear in frigid weather, a ushanka.

Some ushankas come with earflaps. Along with facial hair, those earflaps would work wonders changing my appearance, and confusing my PC.

Seeing me differently, would it – so to speak – still open itself up to me? With a little reprogramming, it probably would, and that’s the difference between PCs and people.

Even faking out my PC, it would still accept me, no matter how I look. Whether I look like I’m from France, Greece, Mexico, the Middle East or Russia.

But with people, that’s a different story… predicting how they’ll react to someone appearing to be from somewhere else. Predicting how they’ll react to someone who looks different and has different mannerisms, different attire and headgear, and, perhaps, a unique hairstyle and facial hair.

Maybe, that new PC of mine, is okay after all.

Harvey Radin

Harvey Radin

Harvey Radin is former senior vice president in charge of corporate communications and media relations, Bank of America Western Region. He makes his home in Redwood City, CA.