After Chaitra misspelled ‘neroli oil’, Zaila won the big trophy by correctly spelling ‘murraya’ — a genus of Asiatic tress with pinnate leaves…
Author: Louis Cannon
Underrated writer Louis Cannon grew up in the vast American West, although his ex-wife, given the slightest opportunity, will deny that he ever grew up at all. You can read more stories on his Substack account.
READY, FIRE, AIM: When Satan Chairs the Meeting
Certain scholars, who claim to be able to understand Paradise Lost in spite of the challenging spelling and grammar, have argued that Satan manipulated the vote…
READY, FIRE, AIM: Fat and Happy
As far as I can tell, there’s no scientific proof that fat people are happier than skinny people, but it would seem like a simple thing to find out…
READY, FIRE, AIM: Intelligence, or Lack Thereof
But obviously, judging from the number of small flying insects that get added to the web every day, someone is not paying attention…
READY, FIRE, AIM: Joe Says Facebook is Killing Us… Like, Duh
I guess technically, the President wasn’t saying that Facebook is killing everybody. Only certain people…
READY, FIRE, AIM: The Sperm Parameters, Before and After
Some sperm swim in a straight line, aiming for the target, like Harvard undergrads majoring in Business Administration…
READY, FIRE, AIM: The Death of the 40-Hour Work Week
I assume this phenomenon has been accompanied by a sharp increase in Netflix subscriptions…
READY, FIRE, AIM: California Roars Back
It seems that this California program is actually working, because Governor Newsom posted this authentic testimonial from one of his constituents…
READY, FIRE, AIM: Why I’m Not Headed to Tokyo
Another abnormal thing, is protesters standing around outside the stadium, with banners written in English and Japanese…
READY, FIRE, AIM: In the Oval Office
Marty waved a hand in my direction. “Are we okay, talking with this guy in the room?” he queried…
READY, FIRE, AIM: Space, the Final Tourism Frontier
Space is now the final tourism frontier. And tourists — especially, very wealthy tourists — don’t want to be crammed into a space capsule…
READY, FIRE, AIM: Non-Binary Sexuality, a 4,000-Year-Old Tradition
I have found the current discussions about non-binary gender to be wonderfully confounding…
READY, FIRE, AIM: Lobsters Loom Large in British Parliament Debates
What is sentience? As suggested by Charles Darwin 150 years ago, it’s the ability to feel “pleasure and pain, happiness and misery…”
READY, FIRE, AIM: Those Beloved Airplanes
But… now that I’ve wondered about how much the Blue Angels would cost… I can’t stop thinking about it….
READY, FIRE, AIM: Six Styles of Love… Pick Your Favorite
“You might say that you love your partner, or your family, or your best friend, your job or even your car. Clearly, you’re using the term in different ways…”
READY, FIRE, AIM: Give Me Liberty… and Give Me Death
Allegedly, a member of the Second Virginia Convention in 1775 — Patrick Henry — made an inflammatory speech at St. John’s Church in Richmond, Virginia…
READY, FIRE, AIM: Get a College Degree; Live a Long, Boring Life
What the researchers also failed to mention is that too much of a good thing is not a good thing. And that includes too much education…
READY, FIRE, AIM: Pizzas Ate My Freezer
While this ideological revolution was taking place, however, the industrial food conspiracy was working behind the scenes to make me more unhealthy than ever…
READY, FIRE, AIM: Hard Times in the Neighborhood
Over 1,000 catalytic converters have been stolen from the undersides of automobiles in Denver, and so far — reportedly — law enforcement has not made a single arrest…