The health care experts at Cedars Sinai note that computer eye strain symptoms can include dry eyes, headache, blurred vision and eye twitching… Individuals who think they might be dealing with eye strain can try various strategies to prevent it or reduce its severity…
— from the Pagosa Springs SUN, February 24, 2022.
Well, I’m not suffering from headaches or twitching eyes. Maybe a bit of blurred vision. But I can write that off to getting older, or to an untamed fondness for alcoholic beverages.
Dry eyes? I’m not sure what that is, exactly. It might mean… that I haven’t been crying? Like Mick Jagger told Angie in that hit song: “Come on, baby, dry your eyes…”
I normally don’t cry when I’m looking at my computer screen. (Unless I’m watching ‘Toy Story 3’. What a great ending! I always watch it with Kleenex handy.)
But there is one sure-fire way to avoid computer eye strain.
Turn off your goddamn computer.
Sorry if I’m cursing, folks, but this whole electronic version of real life has finally gotten on my nerves.
In fact, I am urging you to shut off your computer right this minute, and go out and get some fresh air. (If you are reading this column on your smart phone… while driving to work… I am not even going to go there.)
Yes, I realize I’m cutting my own throat, because all of my entertaining Daily Post columns appear only online… which means I am part of the problem. (As my ex-wife Darlene constantly reminded me. And not merely ‘part’.)
I am willing to make this sacrifice, to save your eyes.
And maybe my own eyes, as well? I mean, most readers are able to read my humor articles in about three minutes. (Assuming that you didn’t quit after the first paragraph. Obviously you have made it this far, and for that, I sincerely apologize.) But it typically takes me a couple of hours to write these columns. (Who would have guessed?) Staring at the computer screen the whole time.
So if you find yourself with a headache or twitching eyes after reading one of my humor columns, just imagine how I feel.
If I had my druthers, the Pagosa Daily Post would be printed on real paper, same as Shakespeare’s tragedies, Harry Potter, and the Quran. But I supposed that will never happen, so long as the financial decisions are being made by a cheapskate editor with dry eyes and blurred vision.
[EDITOR’S NOTE: Writer Louis Cannon will be taking a lengthy unpaid vacation, starting very soon.]
Underrated writer Louis Cannon grew up in the vast American West, although his ex-wife, given the slightest opportunity, will deny that he ever grew up at all.