READY, FIRE, AIM: The Chinese Garden of Eden

I was amused by yesterday’s Daily Post editorial that hinted at a connection between economic growth in the People’s Republic of China and last weekend’s historic flood event in Archuleta County.

Yes, our editor has a sense of humor. (You wouldn’t know it, to judge by his typically gloomy view of local events and government actions.) I definitely got a good chuckle out of his suggestion that a rising standard of living in Asia is somehow related to our struggles in rural Pagosa Springs. And from his goofy idea that temptation in the Garden of Eden can help us understand our current business outlook.

Every now and then, however, our editor publishes something halfway believable.

A lot of really smart people have been warning us about China taking unfair advantage of American generosity and benevolence — and dare I say, our naiveté and dewy-eyed innocence.

So instead of totally writing off his idea, I decided to research the Chinese Garden of Eden.

It’s obvious that people in China are doing everything they can to be like us. Driving cars, watching TV, playing baseball, eating fast food, electing authoritarian leaders, and so on. I hear some of them even use forks and knives at dinner.

I wondered if they were also copying the story of Adam and Eve, and the wily Serpent, and the forbidden fruit, and the unhappy ending.

I began my research by searching Google for images of the ‘Chinese Garden of Eden’, and quickly found about a million images of

‘Chinese Garden’

…which is apparently a real thing, found here and there all around the world, not just in China.

Like, in Manchester, England…

…and Paris, France…

…and Vancouver, British Columbia…

…and Portland, Oregon…

…and last but not least, in China.

One thing these Chinese Gardens have in common is a little house or gazebo, with a funny-looking roof. So I’m led to believe that, if there really were a Chinese Garden of Eden, it would have no doubt featured a little house with a funny roof. And also, probably, a pond with goldfish.

This would be quite different from the American Garden of Eden. In our version of the story, Adam and Eve didn’t have a house.

Until they got kicked out of the Garden, that is. I have to assume they built a house once they were out in the big world, earning an honest living.

Another problem with the Chinese Garden of Eden, however, is the Chinese Creation Story as a whole.  The Chinese have a bunch of really old books — like, dating back to 500 BCE — and even though the books don’t agree about how the world began, none of them make any mention of Adam and Eve, or a Garden. 

One of the stories features a mythical being called Pangu, who was like your ultimate superhero — a giant with horns on his head and covered in hair.  After dividing the universe into Heaven and Earth and managing various other tasks necessary to creating the world, he died, and the fleas on his hairy body became animals and people.

We’re talking some big fleas.  But remember, he was a giant.

An alternative story involves Nüwa, the mother goddess, who molded humans individually by hand, out of clay or mud. The rich people out of yellow clay and the poor people out of brown mud, according to one version of the story.

She appears in illustrations as half-Human and half-Serpent.

In the text called Huainanzi, there’s a description of a great battle between deities that broke the pillars supporting Heaven and caused a great flood. (Sounds vaguely familiar.) Nüwa patched the holes in Heaven with five colored stones, and used the legs of a tortoise to mend the pillars.

So although we have a Serpent, there’s no sign of Adam and Eve, nor any forbidden fruit.

If there were any forbidden fruit in a Chinese Garden, I assume it would be either Huo Long Guo (Dragon Fruit)…

…or Yang Tao (Starfruit)…

…or possibly Li Zhi (Lychee).

If we buy the Daily Post editor’s goofy story, the Chinese are becoming more like Americans, and Americans are becoming more like the Chinese.

Whether we’re going to abandon Adam and Eve and their temptation story, and accept that we’re descended from the fleas that lived on a hairy giant? I seriously doubt it.