It is with great joy that I read DC Duncan’s article dated July 3, 2025. Although I’m sure I cannot do his great sense of humor justice, I feel compelled to reply to his article.
As I raced out the door this morning and began my 8 laps around the track, my achy knees and hips were screaming in pain. My throbbing head was telling me to slow down and quit before I even began my walk. My racing heart told me to keep on trucking. You’re still alive! I was still laughing so hard thinking that everything he said about being retired, tired, and growing old is so true. He’s definitely telling it like it is. And anyone who thinks he isn’t, has not had the chance to live enough years to feel the “growing old and being tired.” They should be so lucky as so many of our young kids are dying young.
As far as age, I’m right behind Mr. Duncan by 11 years, but I can certainly appreciate his years of life experience. I have even told my 17-year-old grandson who is away at boot camp, and at this very moment, battling pneumonia in 100 degree weather in Texas that some day he will be able to sit back and tell his grandkiddos about his life’s experiences — if he chooses to. I pray he gets that chance.
As a retiree and as a woman, I know firsthand all about being tired. I often say that I was born tired and not born to be tired. I can also relate to his looking in the mirror each day. I often see my aunties staring back at me, laughing and mocking me as my baggy eyes sag even more. I don’t even need to carry my own bags into the stores as they are already a permanent fixture. I just can’t put groceries in them yet. As I look away for a brief moment, I look up again and realize I am my mom. Eek! So many looks I have inherited — maybe at some point in my life, those looks were good-looking? Maybe even cute? Yeah, right. I’ll keep fooling myself.
I know firsthand the injustices and indignities Mr. Duncan speaks of. Although half of them I can’t remember since I was under anesthesia. Thank goodness. I don’t even want to know. Kids these days don’t want to hear about how tired I am or that I’m retired. They don’t care. Why should they? They don’t think that I know what it’s like to be their ages. Aargh! The cruelty of reliving those painful memories is sometimes still so vivid and seemingly fresh.
So yes, I guess it’s true. Things have changed, leaving me in the dust, and people are always reminding me that things will never be the same. I will never be the same either.
But I am grateful that I have lived somewhat long enough to be retired and tired as the sacrifices that I have made will never be remembered.
Yes, I am old too. And most people assume that if you have gray hair, you are really old. And we won’t even speak of the aches and pains that come with age. But what I do enjoy as I’m blessed to be getting older is that I am a bit more patient, a bit more reserved, and even more humbled by my life’s experiences. At least I think so.
As retired teacher, I know I was really the student. Everything I learned about life was from my students and now from my grandkids.They taught me how to love, how to be playful, and how to remain humble in a world where life is sometimes overwhelming. They are the true warriors. Their brutal honesty gave me hope that someday I could learn to appreciate the beauty of life. I’m learning how to do that now. It’s never too late. So much I have missed out on, but with no regrets. Just newfound curiosity and excitement.
I have learned much in my years as I age, certainly not gracefully, and not by choice.
One thing I have learned is not to snack late at night before I go right to sleep because I want to have pleasant dreams, which I can’t ever remember, instead of having those awful nightmares.
Even though we will always do dumb “shit”, young or old, that’s the best thing in life. Keep on living and learning, or not. Why worry? They say, “Give it to God and go to sleep.” I certainly plan to. I am learning to “Let go and let God.” These experiences are our own and can’t be taken away. Never apologize for them. I see people who have regretted things they have done in their lives when really they just have never really lived.
I don’t like that saying “It is what it is.” Never settle for complacency. Keep trying hard and never give up. That’s my motto. Maybe in a few years I might, but it is simply not in my DNA. Why have regrets and why spend your whole life apologizing for being yourself? I love Marilyn Monroe’s saying:
“I’m selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I am out of control, and, at times, hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.”
I’m excited that my granddaughter has a feisty role model, and it definitely isn’t me. Bet you can’t guess who it is.
I just want to gently remind Mr. Duncan that despite the hardships in our lives, the losses we have suffered, and the joys and happiness and lessons we think we have learned, we are so lucky to have had them and to be able to share them if we want. He is surely fortunate to have the “loves of his life” still standing by his side in awe of his strengths and weaknesses. No weaknesses that I can see. Growing old with someone is even better. Lots of commonalities for sure. Many people don’t get this lucky.
I know I’m grateful each morning to wake up and be able to roll out of bed even if I throw my shoulder out. Thank God for my wonderful chiropractor. I don’t consider myself to be just a “soldier.” I had enough soldiering in my life, and I wasn’t even in the military. I consider myself to be that “warrior” who will continue to fight on a daily basis for myself, for my loved ones, and any underdog. And not against growing old. Yes, it comes with challenges, but with it also comes wisdom and peace. Wayne Dyer reminds us that “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” By the way, we are our own shrinks. We are all bent but not broken.
By the way, I’m so jealous he was hanging out with Linda Rondstadt. Wow! Even though I own her collection of songs and have imagined that I have seen her performing her greatest hits, I wish I could have seen her in concert. Then I would know for sure that she is real and is aging gracefully, unlike some of us. Keep them coming, Mr. Duncan. You’re the best!
Maria Martinez
Pagosa Springs, CO