American statesman and scientist Benjamin Franklin is notorious for his many achievements and failures, but is perhaps best known for making an oft-misquoted claim about God’s love for humankind.
“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.”
Dr. Franklin might have actually said this at some point — certainly, most of us have had the very same thought while working our way through a six pack — but according to the people who spend their lives chasing the authenticity of Internet quotes, there’s no actual record of him saying it. Perfectly understandable that there’s no written record. Who keeps a written record when they’re drinking beer? Not me, that’s for sure.
Note: I am not drinking beer as I scribe this humor column, of course. It’s only 6:30am. Let me wake up first.
Sources have verified, however, a different written record that does reference proof of God’s love. (Dr. Franklin, being a scientist, liked to have things proven.)
From the Suffolk University website:
Franklin apparently did not like beer very much and was much more of a wine lover. The quote originally came from a letter that Franklin wrote to his friend André Morellet while he was in France…
“We speak of the conversion of water into wine, at the wedding of Cana, as a miracle. But this conversion is done daily by the goodness of God before our eyes. This is the water that falls from the heavens on our vineyards; there it enters the roots of the vines to be changed into wine; constant proof that God loves us, and that he loves to see us happy.”
I’m not sure what they teach in universities these days, but the fact that a guy likes wine does not imply that he “doesn’t like beer very much.” And I am speaking from experience.
Dr, Franklin spent a lot of time in France, trying to get the French to join the American colonists in their war with England. He probably didn’t have to argue very hard, considering how the French feel about the English, and vice versa. My point being, he had the opportunity to drink plenty of good, French wine, and that may have influenced his comments in a letter to his French friend.
If he had gone to Germany instead, he would have spent his time drinking good, German beer, and history might have turned out very differently. For example, the fake Internet quotes might have been true.
But that’s not the point of this column. The “beer problem” is a very modern problem, only vaguely related to Dr. Franklin’s falsely attributed quote.
The Lamestream Media is overrun, this week, with coverage of a announcement by Heineken Brewing — the world’s second-largest beer manufacturer — that they plan to lay off up to 6,000 workers over the next two years. Those job cuts amount to almost 7% of their 87,000-strong, global workforce. They also announced they are searching for a new CEO, following the surprise resignation of Dolf van den Brink in January.
If I were the Heineken CEO and I were going to lay off 6,000 (possibly angry) workers, I would definitely want to resign. And move to a more friendly country.
The problem seems to be, people drinking less beer. And less alcohol, period. Even less wine. Dr. Franklin would be shocked.
This announcement follows on the tail of an announcement last October by Molson Coors Beverage Company, that they were cutting about 400 salaried jobs across its U.S. businesses — representing about 9% of its American workforce. The company projected a 12% drop in pre-tax earnings in 2026, and blamed it partly on aluminum tariffs, but mostly on younger people who refuse to consume their fair share of beer.
Gen Z is simply not drinking alcohol like their parents did. This might indicate a new ‘health consciousness’… or it might reflect the fact that the younger generations simply can’t afford anything except Pabst Blue Ribbon. And who wants to drink PBR?
Reportedly, the predicament of young people refusing to drink enough beer is especially acute in Europe, so I assume there’s a connection between socialism and insufficient beer consumption.
But even in America, our young people are failing us.
Departing Heineken CEO Dorf van den Brink told Bloomberg TV that he expects the alcohol category to rebound in the future. “We remain prudent in the short-term, and we remain confident in the mid- to long-term that the category will return to growth.”
I’m glad the media is reporting on this problem.
Takes our minds off the Epstein files for a minute.
Beer can also help with that.
Underrated writer Louis Cannon grew up in the vast American West, although his ex-wife, given the slightest opportunity, will deny that he ever grew up at all. You can read more stories on his Substack account.