I’m getting to that age where I could probably benefit from hearing aids. But according to the ads I’m getting in my emails, the #1 hearing aid will shock you.
That’s the main problem with electricity. Electric shocks. If we could eliminate the shocks, life would be a lot easier.
From the photograph, it looks like the shocks happen in your ears, or to the side of your head.
I have enough trouble with the static electricity from my carpet. No way I’m going to pay hundreds of dollars for a hearing aid that shocks me.
Besides, if I did have hearing aids… who would I want to listen to? Mostly, the people I know talk about the weather, and its effects.
“Looks like it might rain this afternoon.”
“Yeah, sure looks like it. We need the rain.”
“You can say that again. I can’t remember such a dry summer.”
“They say it’s because of climate change.”
“I don’t know about that. But I’d sure like to see it rain this afternoon, after I get done mowing the lawn.”
“It’s been so dry, I’ve only had to mow my lawn once this summer.”
“That’s one good thing about a dry summer. You don’t have to mow the lawn as often.”
“But then there’s the wildfires.”
“Yeah. The forests are awfully dry this year. That’s why we really need the rain.”
“Maybe this afternoon.”
“Yeah.”
With that kind of conversations to listen to — and participate in, if you’re so inclined — we have to wonder why anyone would want to wear hearing aids that shock you.
It’s not clear from the ads if the other 16 hearing aids tested by the experts will shock you, but maybe they don’t, because the advertisement seems to be making a big deal about the #1 choice.
If they all shocked you, presumably the advertisers would warn us.
As the world transitions towards ‘electric everything’ and away from fossil fuels, I suspect this problem is only going to get worse. All the bicycles I see on the road lately appear to be electric, and I’m not even going to mention all the electric cars and trucks. When people start experiencing shocks from their new Cybertrucks, that’s going to be the end of that little experiment.
And don’t get me started about sitting on an electric bicycle. I would think we men are especially vulnerable.
Back in the day, I thought electric toothbrushes were a stupid idea, but now you can hardly find a toothbrush that’s not electric. My old toothbrush is just about worn down to the nubs, but I refuse to buy an electric toothbrush. I keep imagining what it would be like to get a sudden electric shock running through all my root canal repairs.
So far, I’ve been able to use my phone for several years without getting shocked, but I never hold it next to my ear. I always put it on “Speaker” and hold it safely away from my head.
The woman in the hearing aid ads also holds the phone at a distance, which is obviously sensible. But she’s still liable to be shocked, because of the hearing aids.
Maybe she’s on the phone with customer service? Lodging a a complaint?
Underrated writer Louis Cannon grew up in the vast American West, although his ex-wife, given the slightest opportunity, will deny that he ever grew up at all. You can read more stories on his Substack account.