In 2010, 40% of people responded that God created humans in their present form (Gallup Poll 2010)
— ‘Witnessing Phenotypic and Molecular Evolution in the Fruit Fly’ by Caiti SS Heil, et al, in ‘Evolution’ magazine.
I once owned a t-shirt that said, “Rubber Tires & Assholes Rule the World”.
This was during what one might call a ‘less mature’ phase of my life. Not everyone who knows me would suggest that I’ve become more mature, but I’m willing to suggest it, and it’s one reason why I no longer wear that t-shirt. Besides which, I don’t know what happened to it. And anyway, it probably wouldn’t fit my more mature body.
But if I had to wear a t-shirt with a meaningful message, I would opt for one that said “Rubber Tires & Coders Rule the World”. Which means essentially the same thing, but sounds less crude.
I am not suggesting that all coders are assholes, necessarily. In fact, one of my best friends writes code, and he’s not that unpleasant to be around, unless he starts talking about coding.
Nevertheless, I am now going to be talking about coding.
But not the kind of coding that people — especially young people — are apt to be talking about these days. That type of coding relates to writing computer programs in various computer languages, to try and keep the economy functioning despite everything.
The main subject of today’s column is kind of coding performed by my DNA.
And probably, also, by your DNA.
I learned about “coding DNA” and “non-coding DNA” because I wanted to know how ‘genes’ work. Mainly, I was curious why I look a lot like my grandfather, but not like my father or mother. Apparently, many people have asked the same type of question, even though very few of them look like my grandfather.
Back in ancient Greece, Hippocrates suggested that each organ in the body of a parent gave off invisible “”seeds” that were transmitted during sexual intercourse and combined in the mother’s womb to form a baby. If he had only known how close he was to the truth!
One unanswered question, though, was how Louis ended up with brown eyes when both his parents have blue eyes?
During the 20th century, scientists tried to get a handle on the genetics question, mostly by studying fruit flies. According to various informative website, coded by people who may or may not be assholes, most fruit flies have red-colored eyes. But some have white eyes. (None, apparently, have blue eyes.) If you put a red-eyed male fruit fly in with a group of white-eyed females and white-eyed males, within a few generations, all of the grandchildren will have red eyes.
Scientists credit this kind of hereditary outcome to ‘genes’ which are understood to be the various segments of our DNA that determine what we look like, and how we function. The story I am hearing is that some DNA segments do something called “coding” and some segments of DNA are “non-coding”.
Sort of like in our larger society. Some of us are coding, and some of us are non-coding.
The “coding DNA” produces proteins necessary to life. But we only have about 20,000 different “protein-coding” genes, and somehow, they manage to “code” about 400,000 different proteins. Which might imply that our genes are smarter than we give them credit for.
The “non-coding” genes have some other function that we don’t fully understand. Why do they even exist, if they can’t be useful? It’s like the people who spend all day shopping on their phones. Lucky for them, we have coders who make online shopping possible.
All of this “DNA coding” and “DNA non-coding” goes on in fruit flies, too, and when it goes on long enough, everyone has red eyes.
And speaking of red eyes, I really need to spend less time shopping online — but can’t seem to break the habit. Damn those coders!
As a side note, I kicked off this column with some survey results, indicating that close to half of the U.S. population doesn’t believe humans evolved from monkeys, but believe instead that God created us, in all our awesome variety, some with brown eyes and some with blue eyes.
Some who want to write code, and some who don’t. Some who happen to be assholes, and some who wear t-shirts printed with sarcastic messages.
Looked at from that perspective, ‘evolution’ doesn’t seem to offer the best explanation.
Underrated writer Louis Cannon grew up in the vast American West, although his ex-wife, given the slightest opportunity, will deny that he ever grew up at all. You can read more stories on his Substack account.