Loneliness is as deadly as smoking 15 cigarettes a day, and more lethal than consuming six alcoholic drinks a day, according to the Surgeon General of the United States, Dr. Vivek Murthy…
— from ‘We Know the Cure for Loneliness. So Why Do We Suffer?’ by Nicholas Kristof in The New York Times, September 2023.
The other day, while walking down by the river, I determined that nearly everyone in Pagosa Springs has a dog.
Or so it would seem.
Admittedly, I don’t have a dog. I’m a cat person.
Having a dog is like having a loyal friend. Having a cat is like having superintendent.
But besides dogs and cats, I get the impression that people aren’t hanging out with human friends like they did a few years ago. Which relates to the type of loneliness the Surgeon General warned us about, last September. The type that will kill you.
You can’t easily take a cat for a walk down by the river, but it’s an easy thing to do if you have a dog. Or if a dog has you. A dog will walk along the river all day, if you let it.
On the other hand, you can talk about politics with your cat. There’s nothing quite like talking politics with your cat sitting on your lap, purring. Based on my limited experience with dogs, a dog will get upset if you start talking politics. Same with talking about religion. Dogs dislike controversy.
I went to a party the other day, something I rarely do… and I noticed that almost everyone at the party was single. Divorced or widowed. A whole room full of people, without partners.
Was this a typical party? I asked myself.
Of course, I was on the lookout for signals from the single women in the room… hints that they found me to be handsome and interesting. The fact that I didn’t perceive any such signals is certainly understandable.
We all know how difficult relationships can be. The unmet expectations. The differences of opinion. The toothpaste smears on the faucet handle.
Consuming six alcoholic drinks a day can ultimately be lethal, as the Surgeon General suggested. The reason you’re imbibing so much alcohol, however, is probably related to a difficult relationship with another human being. I suspect the Surgeon General knows this, but he couldn’t bring himself to mention the fact.
And yet, loneliness is equally lethal.
But less expensive.
The Surgeon General released a report suggesting that the loneliness epidemic — yes, it’s an epidemic — the loneliness epidemic is hitting young people especially hard. “Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation” asserts that even before the COVID-19 pandemic, about half of U.S. adults reported experiencing measurable levels of loneliness.
For instance, the amount of time respondents engaged with friends socially in-person decreased from 2003 … to 2020 … This represents a decrease of 20 hours per month spent engaging with friends.
This decline is starkest for young people ages 15 to 24. For this age group, time spent in-person with friends has reduced by nearly 70% over almost two decades…
Who are these young people spending time with? Technology.
The Surgeon General’s recommendation:
Reform digital environments to “critically evaluate our relationship with technology.”
We’re no longer having relationships with people. We have relationships with technology.
Forgive me if I’m being rude, but having a relationship with technology is even weirder than having a relationship with a cat.
And it’s an epidemic. Maybe even a pandemic.
The question the Surgeon General didn’t fully address is, whether having a relationship with technology is potentially lethal.
Also, how do you arrange a divorce?
Underrated writer Louis Cannon grew up in the vast American West, although his ex-wife, given the slightest opportunity, will deny that he ever grew up at all.