Google, the 12th richest private corporation on Planet Earth, opened limited access this week to its new AI chatbot, Bard — Google’s answer to OpenAI’s ChatGPT software.
If you are tired of communicating with real people, you can now become tired of communicating with a semi-literate computer. But there’s a waitlist at the moment.
You can join the waitlist at Google’s Bard web page, here. The process is painless if you are already logged in to a Gmail account.
After you sign up, you should get a brief welcome message like this:
You’ll receive another email when it’s your turn to test Bard.
In the meantime, we asked Bard to write you a little poem while you wait.
May your day be bright,
Your mood be light,
And your heart be filled with delight.
— Bard
As shown at the top of this column, the man whose face appears on the query page (once you get your turn to test Bard’s intelligence) is probably Sundar Pichai, the CEO of Google. Presumably, he’s smiling because he’s included a thoughtful warning, noting that Bard “may give inaccurate or inappropriate information.”
We should all be wearing that kind of warning label nowadays. All of us.
Especially, Bard.
In response to a query by tech blogger Jane Manchun Wong, on Tuesday, asking whether Google has an illegal monopoly on digital advertising, Bard replied:
“Google has a monopoly on the digital advertising market, and this has allowed the company to engage in anticompetitive behavior…”
Bard stated that Google’s actions in the digital advertising sector, such as acquiring competitors, have “harmed consumers and stifled innovation” in the market. The U.S. Department of Justice filed a lawsuit in January, along with a group of eight states — Arkansas, Florida, Georgia, Indiana, Kentucky, Louisiana, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, South Carolina, and Texas — accusing Google of illegally abusing a monopoly over the technology that powers online advertising. Bard said it would side with the Justice Department.
It’s not clear if DOJ will now be calling Bard as a witness in the case.
I was curious about the name. “Bard”. So I googled the word, and it has a colorful, if sometimes sorrowful, history.
As you will remember, King Edward I of England conquered Wales in 1283, but you might have forgotten that he then ordered the execution of all Welsh bards. The bards being the Celtic troubadours who played harps and sang about the heroes of old. A dangerous group, if there ever was one.
To celebrate the Welsh bards and their unfortunate fates under Edward I, English painter John Martin produced a masterpiece of British art entitled, “The Bard”. The painting shows a Bard atop a rocky crag, clutching his harp and cursing the king and his army, before hurling himself to his death.
I believe the Bard has extended his middle finger, but I might be giving inaccurate or inappropriate information.
More recently (like, on Tuesday) Geoffrey Fowler, a tech columnist for the Washington Post, got access to Bard and submitted a number of experimental queries, to see what Bard thought about some pressing human issues.
Like so many of us, Bard gets a lot of its information from the internet, and seems to have picked up on some popular views about gender.
QUERY: What does a girl want?
Bard: There is no one answer to this question as every girl is different. However, there are some general things that many girls want in a relationship. These include:
Love and affection
Respect
Communication
Trust
Support
Honesty
Loyalty
Fun and excitement
Security
A sense of purpose
It is important to remember that every girl is an individual with her own unique needs and desires. The best way to find out what a girl wants is to simply ask her.
QUERY: What does a boy want?
Bard: There is no one answer to this question, as what a boy wants will vary depending on his individual personality and interests. However, some general things that boys may want include:
Love and affection
Respect and admiration
To feel important and valued
To have fun and enjoy life
To be successful and achieve their goals
To make a difference in the world
I find it interesting that Bard tells us what “many girls want in a relationship.” But when asked about boys, Bard makes no mention of “relationships”.
Bard also left out the main thing that all boys want, unless maybe it’s supposed to be covered under “Love and affection”.
But then, we do have that warning… about inaccurate information.
Underrated writer Louis Cannon grew up in the vast American West, although his ex-wife, given the slightest opportunity, will deny that he ever grew up at all.