Working as a humor columnist in Pagosa Springs has its advantages. For instance, I can take a nap pretty much whenever I want.
Unless my neighbor has his stereo cranked. It’s a real challenge to try and nap to Black Sabbath. I have some unusual religious beliefs, among which is the belief that God wants me to take naps. Another belief is that Black Sabbath is the work of the devil.
I learned about napping from hanging out with my cat, Roscoe. Roscoe takes a nap several times a day, at the drop of a hat, pretty much anywhere — the laundry basket, my bed, the couch, the bathroom rug — and he always seems refreshed afterwards.
Do cats know something we don’t know? I suspect we are the only species on the planet that thinks a nap is a waste of time.
But besides trying to keep up with my cat, there are historical and scientific reasons why I take regular naps.
The ancient Romans, for example, had a tradition of taking naps in the sixth hour after sunrise — hora sexta — which was around noon… and as we all know, they ended up conquering half of Europe and a good chunk of Northern Africa. Not that I view imperial conquests is a sign of personal success, but it indicates that you can still accomplish big things even after a midday nap.
The Latin word sexta became the Spanish word siesta. And the Spanish, we will note, conquered all of Central and South America. Except for Brazil, which they left to Portugal (at the advice of Pope Alexander VI) probably because it was mostly jungle anyway.
The Portuguese don’t have a siesta tradition. Has that been a wise choice? I mean, when was the last time your heard about Portugal in the news?
The nap never really caught on in the U.S., however, which might be the reason our health care system is so out-of-whack.
In 2007, a group of doctors analyzed the health histories of 23,681 people in Greece — where naps are traditional — and came to the following conclusion, in a scientific paper titled, “Siesta in healthy adults and coronary mortality in the general population”:
Among men and women, when controlling for potential confounders and using those not taking siesta as a referent category, those taking a siesta of any frequency or duration had a coronary mortality ratio of 0.66. Specifically, those occasionally napping had a 12% lower coronary mortality, whereas those systematically napping had a 37% lower coronary mortality.
In other words, if you want to live a longer, healthier life, you should be napping “systematically”. Occasional napping doesn’t really cut it. And skipping your nap entirely is especially dangerous.
The Chinese also have a strong napping tradition. I see where 88% of Chinese report napping regularly, usually right after lunch. Have the Chinese conquered half of Europe, or most of the Central and South America? No. But they probably could, if they wanted to.
What happened to us Americans? Some of the blame goes to Thomas Edison and his invention of the electric light in 1879. Prior to that year, the average American slept about 10 hours per day. Mostly, because it was dark.
The average American now gets about 6.7 hours of sleep per day. Thanks a lot, Mr. Edison.
In spite of several minutes of research into napping and its benefits, I’ve not yet come across the answer to an important question. “Will there be naps in Heaven?”
We know that the Prophet Mohammad (peace be upon him) advised his followers to take a midday nap, because, as he said, “the Shaytaan does not take a nap at midday.” The Shaytaan being the Devil.
Doesn’t get much more explicit than that.
I was able to find literally hundreds of statues of The Buddha taking a nap, located in practically every country in Asia. Some of the statues were pretty large.
And there’s this, from the Book of Mark.
On the same day, when evening had come, He said to them, “Let us cross over to the other side.”
Now when they had left the multitude, they took Him along in the boat as He was. And other little boats were also with Him. And a great windstorm arose, and the waves beat into the boat, so that it was already filling. But He was in the stern, asleep on a pillow. And they awoke Him and said to Him, “Teacher, do You not care that we are perishing?”
Then He arose and rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, “Peace, be still!” And the wind ceased and there was a great calm.
But He said to them, “Why are you so fearful? How is it that you have no faith?”
The meaning of this verse is pretty obvious. A person can do great things after a little nap.
Underrated writer Louis Cannon grew up in the vast American West, although his ex-wife, given the slightest opportunity, will deny that he ever grew up at all.