Several years ago, the folks at YouGov.com conducted a survey and found that 55% of Americans think they are more intelligent than the average American.
Which is to say, the average American thinks they are smarter than the average American.
So either the survey was terribly flawed, or else a lot of us think we are more intelligent than we really are. I would bet on the survey being flawed, for personal reasons.
But I also like to hedge my bets, and on the outside chance that I’m not really as smart as I think I am, I’ve been seeking out ways to become more intelligent. I would, in fact, like to become a genius — or, at the very least, appear to be a genius — and I’m thinking many Daily Post readers might feel the same way.
I’d prefer to be sexy, of course, but I’m pretty sure that’s more difficult to achieve than appearing intelligent.
On the road to learning how to become a genius, I did what most budding geniuses do. I cracked a beer, and logged in to YouTube, where any number of geniuses are giving advice on how to become a genius. The lecturers proposed a variety of methods for becoming a genius, including meditation; cardiovascular workouts; memorizing the New York City phone book; adopting a vegetarian diet; writing a daily humor article; and listening to classical music while sleeping.
Some of these recommendations seemed spurious to me. You don’t have to be a genius to know that it’s physically impossible to listen to music while you’re asleep.
I was just kidding about the daily humor article.
A few beers later, my research led me to a photograph of Albert Einstein’s desk at the Institute for Advanced Study in Princeton, New Jersey.
A knotty question is suggested by this photograph, especially after a few beers. Namely:
Was Einstein’s desk a disaster zone because he was a genius, or did he become a genius as a result of allowing his desk become a disaster zone?
Not being a genius myself, I won’t venture to give a definitive answer to this question. But we are nevertheless faced with an intriguing possibility.
If Einstein’s desk was messy because he was a genius, then we’re sort of up a rope without a paddle. But… if Einstein became a genius as a result of having a messy desk, then we’re definitely sitting in a canoe, holding a paddle. Or maybe a rope.
I am going to go with Door Number Two: that a person working at a messy desk will ultimately become a genius.
I’m willing to go one step better, in fact. A person living in a thoroughly cluttered house will greatly improve their chances of getting an invitation to Princeton.
Even better if you car’s interior is also a total train wreck.
I’m not saying that all those YouTube videos, about how to become a genius, are necessarily wrong. But I’m also saying that the shortest distance between Point A and Point B might be a messy desk… and months of cardiovascular exercise and a vegetarian diet could be just a waste of time.
As you’ve probably guessed, I’ve had one too many beers at this point. Which leads us to the secret that all the expert lecturers on YouTube missed completely.
It really doesn’t matter if you’re a genius. What matters is that you believe you’re a genius.
Beer — in my experience — can help with that belief.
Underrated writer Louis Cannon grew up in the vast American West, although his ex-wife, given the slightest opportunity, will deny that he ever grew up at all.