READY, FIRE, AIM: Am I Suffering From Cave Syndrome?

It may be unthinkable, but some of us are taking the social isolation thing too far…

– from a March 16 LinkedIn article, “Cave Syndrome: A Condition of Our Times?” by Dr. Arthur Bregman

Every now and then — like, pretty much every week — a psychiatrist or psychologist comes up with a catchy new name for a certain dysfunctional human behavior. This week’s infectious slogan seems to be “Cave Syndrome”, apparently invented a month ago by Miami, Florida, psychiatrist Arthur Bregman, but just now spilling out through various Mainstream Media outlets (like the Daily Post, for example.)

Dr. Bregman wrote in his LinkedIn article about people who still want to stay safely at home, even as the COVID pandemic appears to be slacking off. (Not in Michigan, of course, and not in Colorado… but in some places, maybe.)

As the leader of Bregman Medical Group, I am beginning to see a shocking trend with some of my patients and in the world at large. I call it “cave syndrome.” And it can befall introverts and extroverts alike, as most people fall somewhere in the middle of that spectrum.
 
[Cave] syndrome occurs when people become attached to this Covid-19 situation. Not attached to the virus itself, of course, but attached to the home, the anxiety of uncertainty, and its effects on our daily lives.

The doctor is shocked.

As one of the people who falls somewhere in the middle of that spectrum — and incidentally, proud to say it — I read Dr. Bregman’s analysis with considerable trepidation. Like most “middle of the spectrum” people, I don’t want to have a syndrome. Or at least, if I do have a syndrome, I don’t want to know about it. And I certainly don’t want other people — middle of spectrum or otherwise — to know about it.

But I distinctly recall some really smart people in the public health industry, just a few months ago, telling me, “Stay home… don’t go out if you don’t need to…”

To tell the truth, that wasn’t as bad as it sounded. For one thing, I saved a lot of money on gasoline.  I had a lot of phone conversations, even with people that, pre-COVID, I hardly ever ran into at City Market. And when the conversation started to get boring, I can easily say something like, “Ooops, I’ve got to tend to something on the stove… talk to you later…” even if there’s nothing actually on the stove.

But now, certain people (like Dr. Bregman?) want to make out like I have a mental illness? That I’m part of a “shocking trend”?

Just because I listened to some really smart people in the public health industry, and did what I was told? And realized that most of my so-called friends were “middle of the spectrum”?

Yes, I will admit, I’m “attached to the anxiety of uncertainty.” That’s not an entirely new thing. In fact, during my 15 years of marriage to Darlene, the anxiety of uncertainty was pretty much par for the course. What kind of mood would she be in, this morning? Would the mood last all day, or would she be in a completely different mood by suppertime? Was she merely flirting with that guy in her office… or did they have something going on?

If anyone wanted to define ‘anxiety’ as a mental illness, they ought to look into the institution of marriage. I clearly recall the guys in the Pagosa Bar giving me funny looks. “What? You proposed marriage to Darlene? Are you crazy?”

Where was Dr. Bregman, back then, when I really needed him?

And why hasn’t anyone invented “marriage syndrome”? That would have been a useful diagnosis, even for a “middle of the spectrum” guy like me.

At any rate, I’m staying home for the time being. I understand that the captains of industry want to see us to revert, as quickly as possible, to our normal American “spend money like it’s going out of style” consumer behaviors, to keep the profits and taxes flowing… and if they feel they need to scare us out of our caves with “syndrome” stories in the Mainstream Media… well, that’s what they do best.

In my own defense, I can state that none of the guys at the Pagosa Bar have accused me of being crazy, lately. (The fact that I haven’t been there for a year, has some bearing on that statement.)

None of those guys are psychiatrists, but they can spot mental illness a mile away. And it doesn’t matter.

Louis Cannon

Louis Cannon

Underrated writer Louis Cannon grew up in the vast American West, although his ex-wife, given the slightest opportunity, will deny that he ever grew up at all.