We’re all trying to make sense of this pandemic. And thoughtful website articles, like this one, may be our only hope of understanding the big picture.
As a friend said to me, the other day, he’s amazed that the human species was able to survive for a million years without wearing Personal Protective Equipment. And that immediately got me thinking about survival, and things related to survival. And about sex, mostly.
Yes, I do think about sex occasionally. Fact of the matter is, I thinking about sex on a pretty regular basis when I proposed to my now-ex-wife Darlene. I figured, having an attractive woman sleeping with me in my bed, every night, might lead to some pleasant experiences. Apparently, Darlene had been thinking along similar lines, because she accepted my proposal.
In my imagination — because I have no scientific data to back me up — I can easily credit the survival of the human species to men and women deciding to sleep together in the same bed. It’s not a terribly difficult thing for a man and woman to produce a handsome string of children. It can happen practically by accident, you might say. And then, those children grow up and get married and produce more children. Voila!… survival of the species, down through a million years of human history.
No Personal Protective Equipment required.
But something started going terribly wrong, right about the time Darlene and I tied the knot. People started getting the idea that you had to ask the woman’s permission before you had sex with her. Now, please understand, I’m not making an argument here in favor of non-consensual relationships, but back in the good old days, you could enjoy sex without having to get into a contract negotiation.
And about the same time, some people started making the argument that women ought to enjoy sex as much as men do.
Sex was slowly being transformed from a spontaneous and enjoyable recreational activity into a business deal.
On top of all that, the Planned Parenthood people began distributing birth control pills and advocating for ‘reproductive rights’… and families subsequently got smaller and smaller until they practically disappeared. In fact, the family I thought Darlene and I would someday create, vanished the way a pleasant dream does at the sound of a 6:30am alarm clock.
According to the US Census Bureau, 60 percent of US households now consist of fewer than 3 people. More than a quarter of US households consist of a single person. (Like, for example, my household.)
This does not bode well for the survival of the human species. A lot of people are whining, nowadays, about climate change and unnecessary wars and other factors that could bring about the end of the world. But the real problem is, not enough healthy sex going on.
The pendulum swings, and science has now got itself involved in the problem. Since we’re not making enough babies, the only way we can survive as a species is by wearing N95 masks.
Pardon me if I sound despondent, but “lonely, sex-starved and wearing a surgical mask and latex gloves” is no way to go through life.
Underrated writer Louis Cannon grew up in the vast American West, although his ex-wife, given the slightest opportunity, will deny that he ever grew up at all.