“How long will Americans not be allowed to travel to European Union countries?” — Aïda in Minneapolis
Until the U.S. infection rate falls by about 90 percent or the Trump administration persuades Europe to change its mind — neither of which seem likely to happen any time soon.
— from a July 8 column in the Washington Post.
The olive-oil-dipping politicians who run the European Union made a decision last month to prohibit US citizens from visiting Europe during the pandemic, for at least the time being. Some Americans were surprised by this move, and I admit to being one of them.
But I’m not simply surprised — I’m also mad as hell.
I’ve never been to Europe, and if the truth be known, I had no absolutely intentions of visiting Europe anytime soon — until this atrocity unfolded. But now that I and my fellow Americans are being treated like lepers by a bunch of foreigners who can barely speak English, there’s nothing I want more than to book a trip across the European continent, coughing and sneezing as I go.
This “holier than thou” attitude exhibited by witless pansies who put mayonnaise on their French fries is supposedly based on the fact that the two-week infection rate in Europe is about 14 cases per 100,000 people, while here in the good ol’ USA, it’s risen to 145 cases per 100,000.
What they don’t fathom — and I don’t expect they will ever will — is that everybody is going to get this virus eventually, and here in America, we’re just trying to get it over and done with. But at the rate the Europeans are quarantining and social distancing and mask-wearing, it’s going to take them 10 times as long to get everybody infected.
Americans just want to be helpful. It’s the way we are.
I learned about this travel travesty when I was accidentally reading a ‘lifestyle’ article in the Washington Post by columnist Christopher Elliot. I don’t claim to have a lifestyle; I’m just an ordinary kind of guy. And obviously, Mr. Elliot was aiming his column at a different type of reader: the type that actually wants to visit Europe, for whatever incomprehensible reason.
As I mentioned already, I’ve never had plans for a European vacation. For one thing, I don’t like sauerkraut, or Feta cheese, or croissants. Give me a nice slab of barbecued pork ribs and I’m a happy camper. And for another thing, I could never figure out how to get my pickup truck and my dog across the Atlantic, without spending an absolute fortune.
But tell me I can’t even go? Me? A born-and-raised, taxpaying American?
They’re letting Japanese tourists in. They’re letting Canadian tourists in. The ringleaders at the EU are allowing tourists from Serbia to visit, for godsake. Who’s even heard of Serbia?
Sure, sure. They tell us they’re going to update their policy every two weeks, and let us know when our case numbers match up with their inflated expectations. (Another reason why Americans should avoid getting tested. As if we don’t have enough reasons already.)
Another thing I’m pretty ticked about: it seems like Washington DC politicians are still being allowed to travel there. That makes no sense. If anyone is likely to spread diseases, it’s politicians.
The bottom line, for me: if the EU big boys think they’re too good for us, then I’m cancelling my plans to visit.
And I’m also cutting out all European-style food.
Like, no more pizza. That’s right, no more pizza. See how they like that.
Underrated writer Louis Cannon grew up in the vast American West, although his ex-wife, given the slightest opportunity, will deny that he ever grew up at all.