‘Cause I don’t care too much for money
Money can’t buy me love…
— ‘Can’t Buy Me Love’ by Lennon/McCartney, 1964
If any modern musicians understood what money can and cannot buy, it was certainly The Beatles. According to Forbes, their total earnings during their active years (1962-1970) amounted to around $600 million. That would be well over $2 billion in today’s dollars.
For comparison, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, one of the most successful and famous musicians of his era, probably earned the equivalent of about $120,000 a year. Less than a government bureaucrat in Pagosa Springs in 2026.
We won’t talk about what a humor columnist earns in Pagosa Springs. Let’s just say, it’s pennies compared to The Beatles
But I bet The Beatles never had anyone offer to buy their vote.
On September 9, a certain Washington politician pledged a $5,000 dividend to every adult citizen if Republicans retain control of the U.S. House and Senate in November.
The next day, that same politician announced that $500 “Obamacare rebate checks” would be sent out to nearly one million Affordable Care Act enrollees living in 30 states.
When I heard about the rebate checks, I immediately drove to Walmart and priced the Samsung 65″ 4K UHD TV. ($377.99)
But as I learned later, Colorado is not one of the 30 states getting the rebates. Our wonderful state government decided many years ago that we ought to run our own state-based health insurance marketplace called Connect for Health Colorado.
The rebates have gone out only to certain people in the 30 states that use the federal ‘HealthCare.gov’ marketplace. So, not to me and my fellow Coloradans.
I was feeling pretty crappy about this.
I would totally be willing to vote Republican if I had a new TV.
Being a journalist, however, I did a bit of research. (Like, isn’t there a sneaky way I could still get the rebate?)
I found out that the rebate is only going out to about 950,000 Americans who earn 400% or more of the federal poverty level — because they didn’t qualify for the same HealthCare.gov subsidies that most of their neighbors got.
Meaning that those relatively wealthy people paid thousands of dollars more for their insurance coverage in 2026, when their temporary subsidies expired this year.
Turns out, 90% of the Healthcare.gov enrollees will get nothing in the mail. Because they’re too poor.
Which made me feel a lot better. I would rather fork out $377.99 for my new Samsung TV from my own bank account, than pay thousands of extra dollars for healthcare insurance I probably won’t need until I hit 75 or 80 and everything begin to fall apart.
The suckers in those 30 states. Voting for the same Republicans who took away their healthcare subsidies in 2026, just because a $500 check arrives in the mail.
Makes me proud to live in Colorado, where we can vote Republican without needing to be bribed.
Not that I have an unhealthy aversion to being bribed. For the right rebate amount, I would vote for almost anyone.
But I have to say, if I were one of the 18 million people living in those 30 states, who didn’t get the $500 rebate that the wealthier people got, I would be wondering which side my bread is buttered on. If you catch my drift.
Because I’m pretty sure money can’t buy love for politicians, when we don’t actually get a check in the mail.
Underrated writer Louis Cannon grew up in the vast American West, although his ex-wife, given the slightest opportunity, will deny that he ever grew up at all. You can read more stories on his Substack account.