This year, fiber soared in popularity online, but continued to be overlooked on American plates…
— from “6 sneaky ways to eat more fiber, according to experts” by Audrey Bruno, in The Washington Post, September 19, 2026.
“Fiber” has been in the news lately, but we’re talking here about “dietary fiber” rather than “fiber optic cable”. Two different things. The shortage of one is inconvenient. The shortage of the other can probably kill you.
I remember, many years ago, shopping at City Market with Darlene, and the first time we ran across “high fiber” bread. This was back when we were still eating white bread. A new brand of white bread had just appeared on the shelf, and Darlene was curious.
“It claims to have twice the fiber of other brands,” she noted. “I’ve been hearing that fiber is good for you.”
Me, the skeptic: “Who’s saying fiber is good for you?”
Darlene: “The government.”
Me, the cynic: “Consider the source.”
Darlene: “And also, I read it in a magazine. It prevents cancer, and other things. I think we should try this bread. Twice the fiber.”
Me, the mansplainer: “White bread has practically zero fiber, honey. ‘Twice the fiber’ doesn’t mean anything. Two times zero is still zero.”
But I’m not a complete cynic. New stuff can be invented. I picked up the loaf and checked the ingredients.
Me: “It contains food grade cellulose.”
Darlene: “What’s that?”
Me: “It’s, like, purified sawdust. Or maybe cotton. You might be eating recycled underwear.”
Darlene: “I don’t believe you. The government wouldn’t allow that. I’m going to try it.”
It didn’t taste that bad, actually. Pretty much like white bread. But eventually, we switched to whole wheat bread, in spite of the flavor. We had both come to realize what the government actually allows.
All these years later, the government-industrial-food complex is still promoting “fiber enhanced” food-like products. Add a bit of ground chicory root to the tortilla chips, and slap a “high in fiber” message on the package. And jack up the price by 50 cents.
But folks, we don’t have to pay extra for fiber. Fiber is everywhere we look.
Here are some handy sources of fiber that you can add to your next omelet or soup.
Grass clippings from your lawn mower.
Shavings from your pencil sharpener.
Paper scraps from your paper shredder.
Dryer lint. (Note: May contain polyester fiber. But still, it’s fiber.)
The news website The Onion has a few additional tips for adding fiber to your diet:
Toast white bread to convert it to brown, fiber-packed wheat bread.
Incorporate eating a can of beans into your shower routine.
Let the paper straw dissolve completely before drinking your soda.
Mismanage your finances until lentils are all you can afford to eat.
I don’t recommend these suggestions. Especially mismanaging your finances. But it’s probably going to happen anyway, so you might as well see some benefit.
I got inspired to write about this topic when I came across the Washington Post article quoted above.
6 sneaky ways to eat more fiber, according to experts” by Audrey Bruno.
The article confused me, because I cannot for the life of me “sneak” ingredients into my food without knowing that I’m doing it.
If Darlene and I were still married, I could conceivably “sneak” fiber into her food. Or vice versa, she could, into mine.
But we both ate that “high fiber” white bread, right in front of each other, and it worked out just fine. No “sneaking” required.
People should be allowed to eat more fiber without sneaking around like criminals.
Underrated writer Louis Cannon grew up in the vast American West, although his ex-wife, given the slightest opportunity, will deny that he ever grew up at all. You can read more stories on his Substack account.