READY, FIRE, AIM: Who is the Guru?

Pause. Breathe. Smile. Savor.
Life yields joy when you follow your flavor.
Take a moment. Can you hear your inner guru?
Stay there for a while. See where it takes you.

— from a longer poem that appears on a bag of Party Size ‘Lesser Evil’ Pink Himalayan Salt popcorn.

Back when I was a kid, one of the most magical moments of my family’s summer camping trips came when we broke out the package of Jiffy Pop and popped the corn over an open campfire.

Is there anything more wonderful, when camping in the wilderness, than breaking open Jiffy Pop’s aluminum foil bubble and feasting on freshly popped popcorn?  I think not.

Yes, the artificial butter flavor was… well… artificial.

And the yellow coloring was obviously fake.

But really, isn’t life all about trade-offs?

And speaking of trade-offs, there have been some big changes in America’s popcorn environment.

First of all, Americans have either forgotten how to pop popcorn, or are too busy checking their text messages and social media accounts to bother with cooking actual food. So we now buy popcorn in bags. Already popped and flavored.

I don’t feel entirely comfortable with this change.

But apparently, popcorn has become a path to enlightenment. And one particular popcorn manufacturer known as “Lesser Evil” is leading the way to a higher plane of existence.

Their guru’s name is ‘Homer’, according to the explanation on the back of the bag.

Who is the Guru?

Homer radiates the pure essence of happiness, encouraging us to feed the feeling of delighting in life’s simple pleasures.

Joy is a choice, accessible in every moment and in every breath. At heart, we are connection seekers and joy enthusiasts, actively shaping the infinite game through our choices, thoughts, and actions. The closer we get to our purpose – helping the universe evolve – the happier we become. It’s by illuminating the star within, we someday explore the stars above.

I did quite a bit of research into spiritual wisdom during my college days, mostly exploring Eastern religions. (So much more interesting than my ‘Introduction to Business Accounting’ class.) Some of my favorite sacred texts: The Upanishads, Dialogues of the Buddha, The Tao-te Ching, The Confucian Analects, and The Bhagavad Gita.

But I don’t recall any of these scriptures mentioning popcorn.

Of course, I was reading the texts as English translations — in some cases, translations dating from the 1800s. It’s likely that the translators misunderstood certain references?

A few ideas became clear during my research. I understood, for example, that in order to reach nirvana, I would probably have to become a vegetarian. A person can’t go around eating innocent sentient beings and still expect to become enlightened.

Fortunately, Lesser Evil Party Size Pink Himalayan Salt popcorn is not only vegan; it’s also USDA Organic, Non-GMO, and Gluten-Free, which certainly won’t hamper the quest for spiritual wisdom.

According to the National Opinion Research Center (NORC) at the University of Chicago, “General Social Survey, 1972–2024″, religious participation by Americans has declined precipitously since 1972, which wasn’t a great year to start with anyway.  Especially, American men are not attending church like they used to.  I admit to being part of the problem.

From a 2025 report by Jonathan Abbamonte, written for The Heritage Foundation:

Many people of faith will attest they derive many spiritual benefits from frequent attendance at religious services, including inner peace, inner strength, a greater sense of purpose and meaning, a stronger connection with their faith, a strengthening of a personal relationship with God, and fulfillment of their spiritual duty.

The social and personal benefits of frequent attendance at religious services are undeniable. Society and individual well-being will be greatly disadvantaged if religious participation does not return to the levels they once were.

Can Lesser Evil popcorn fill the void?

I certainly hope so.