President Donald Trump signed an executive order Wednesday, lifting restrictions on how much water can be used by shower heads, saying his administration would “make America’s showers great again.”
— from a story by By Maxine Joselow in The Washington Post, April 9, 2025.
Many beautiful things made America great, in the past.
Showers were once one of those beautiful things. Immigrants arriving on our shores from faraway countries, or from south of the border, were amazed at our showers.
Water was no object. We had plenty of water, for everyone. And we used it freely, to wash ourselves, our clothes, our dishes, our cars, and our pets.
But somewhere along the way, our shower heads got changed out.
Some folks might have even changed out the shower heads willingly, to save water. I know I did. I’ve been installing low-flow shower heads in my houses for many years now. Not necessarily because the government wanted me to do it. It just seemed like a good idea. At the time.
But times change, and America is not what it used to be. We’re tired of being careful with the environment. We want real shower heads, like in the good old days.
What made the good old days “good”? Honest-to-goodness real shower heads. Preferably made in America.
When signing the executive order giving us back our old shower heads, President Trump explained:
“I like to take a nice shower to take care of my beautiful hair. I stand under the shower for 15 minutes until it gets wet. It comes out drip, drip, drip. It’s ridiculous.”
I would never claim that my hair is a beautiful as President Trump’s hair. Not by a long shot. There has never been a President with hair as beautiful as President Trump’s hair.
I would classify my hair as ‘mediocre’. Or maybe, as ‘decent’. I have ‘decent’ hair. After a decent shower. And using Head & Shoulders shampoo. (Yes, I have a dandruff problem, and plain water doesn’t really help.)
The main problem with this executive order, though. All the shower heads are made in China. And they are now going to cost twice as much, thanks to President Trump’s tariffs. Sure, he can afford a new shower head — he’s, like, almost a billionaire. But will the Chinese start making the old style of shower heads for us? I wonder.
It’s one thing to sign an executive order. It’s another thing altogether to get the Chinese to fall in line.
I have faith in our President, however. I think this whole trade war is just a temporary ‘flash in the pan’ to make the world sit up and take notice, and stop treating us like a Third World country with lousy shower heads. Trump knows what he’s doing. On our behalf, he’s been spending that extra 15 minutes in the shower to make sure his hair is perfect. Now he will have perfect hair in a couple of minutes.
When you’re negotiating global trade deals, you want to have perfect hair.
(It’s actually a good thing I’m not the President, with my mediocre hair. The Chinese would be walking all over us.)
And now that we will soon be taking great showers again — thanks to great shower heads — maybe the President going to also fix the problem with Lake Mead.
