READY, FIRE, AIM: Free Shipping on All Firearms

‘Guns.com’ sent me a thoughtful email on the morning of July 4, wishing me a safe and relaxing Independence Day, and offering free shipping on any guns I purchase.

No one else emailed me, to wish me a safe and relaxing Independence Day.

Of course, this being an election year, some political candidates had emailed me the same morning… asking for campaign contributions… and promising better government.  But not free shipping.

Nor were the candidates offering discounts of up to $1600.  Or rebates.

The savings at Guns.com started at $180.  If the politicians were offering those kinds of savings, maybe they would pique my interest.

I suppose there’s nothing quite as relaxing, on a national holiday like Fourth of July, as placing an order for a new gun. Makes a person feel safe.  Especially if the gun holds 30 rounds.

Or… placing an order for several new guns. Why not splurge? The more, the merrier. Considering the great prices, and the free shipping.

But despite the temptation, I didn’t order a new gun on Independence Day.

The sad fact is, I have never bought a gun.  When I was 12 years old, my grandfather gave me his old 20-gauge shotgun, but I never fired it, and I have no idea what happened to it after I left for college.  I guess I always assumed that I was immune to violence, and could live a safe and relaxing life without the need to own guns.  Who would want to hurt a journalist?

As it turned out, my Independence Day was indeed relaxing.  And safe.  I avoided the downtown parade, after hearing that the honor guard was going to be carrying rifles.

I also stayed away from downtown after the parade.

Better safe than sorry, my dad used to say.

Too many people.  Mostly strangers, from who-knows-where.  Some of them could have been carrying.  Some states make it easy, these days, to obtain a concealed carry permit.  Or so I hear.

For the same general reason, I skipped the fireworks.  If one of those rockets had misbehaved…?

As the folks at Guns. com suggested: Independence Day should be Safe & Relaxing.   It’s hard to relax unless you feel safe.  And by the same token, it’s also hard to feel safe unless you’re relaxed.  Kind of goes hand-in-hand.

Of course, I’m hoping the people at Guns.com didn’t send this same email to anyone who would use these discount-priced firearms to commit crimes.  That would not be pleasant.

Surely, Guns.com carefully checks a person’s background before they offer free shipping?

Like me, for instance.  A harmless journalist who doesn’t even trust fireworks.

I just want to be safe.  And relaxed.

Louis Cannon

Underrated writer Louis Cannon grew up in the vast American West, although his ex-wife, given the slightest opportunity, will deny that he ever grew up at all.