outlive: verb
1. to live or exist longer than someone or something.
— Cambridge Dictionary
I’d like to review another best-selling book that I’ve never read. Outlive: The Art and Science of Longevity. Written by Peter Attia (and Bill Gifford), published in 2023 and available for purchase, new, for $14 at Walmart.
When the book first came out, last year, it was priced at $29. I’m usually suspicious of things that get less expensive as they get older. My house, for example, was built in the 1980s and it’s worth, like, four times what it cost new.
Based on that information alone — I mean, the $14 bargain price — I don’t believe I will buy the book. But it shouldn’t stop me from reviewing it.
Mostly, I’d like to review the title of the book. In particular, the word, “Outlive.”
Here’s part of a blurb for the book I found on Amazon:
Wouldn’t you like to live longer? And better? In this operating manual for longevity, Dr. Peter Attia draws on the latest science to deliver innovative nutritional interventions, techniques for optimizing exercise and sleep, and tools for addressing emotional and mental health.
The obvious question here is: “Live longer than whom?” Longer than your ex-wife? Good luck with that one. Women typically outlive their husbands (and their ex-husbands) by five or six years.
The best way to live longer, is to be born a woman. So, basically, I was screwed coming out of the womb.
(Does this say something about the growing trend of men ‘transitioning’ into women? I wonder.)
A few facts about author Peter Attia. He was born in 1973 and grew up in Toronto, Canada, got a degree in mechanical engineering, but then attended Stanford University School of Medicine, to become a Doctor of Medicine. From 2001 to 2006, he began a residency in general surgery at the Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore, Maryland, but never completed his residency, nor completed a fellowship, nor became board certified.
Apparently, he didn’t like general surgery. I can understand that. Probably involves a lot of blood and guts. And you can’t work at home — something that seems to be all the rage nowadays.
So Dr. Attia ended up doing podcasts, and writing a book. Which you can do at home.
Do podcasters live longer than general surgeons? I would suspect that’s the case. But maybe not? According to Business News Daily, here are the top 10 most stressful jobs in America, from most to least stressful:
- Enlisted military personnel
- Firefighter
- Airline pilot
- Police officer
- Broadcaster
- Event coordinator
- Newspaper reporter
- Public relations executive
- Senior corporate executive
- Taxi driver
I’m not sure if “Broadcaster” includes “Podcaster”? If so, then Dr. Attia’s current job is slightly more stressful than “Newspaper reporter”.
Just to put everyone’s mind at ease, I am not a “Newspaper reporter”. I write an occasional humor column. Not even close to “Newspaper reporter”. Probably closer to “Taxi driver”.
But I would like to point out something I consider important. Dr. Attia was born in 1973. So I have already outlived him by nine years, without even trying. Dr. Attia is apparently spending a lot of time taking vitamin supplements and exercising and watching his diet, while I have been doing none of those things. Ha!
Okay, yes, he might eventually outlive me. But so will most of the other people born in 1973, and later. Billions of people will outlive me.
Unless, of course, some maniac dictator starts a nuclear war. But that’s a subject for a future humor column.
The main problem with longevity. You end up being old, for longer. Longevity would be a great thing if you could be ‘young’ longer. But that’s not how it works. Instead of dying while you’re still young (like people used to do) you end up getting knee replacements, and then open heart surgery, and then dialysis, and finally years of chemotherapy. Is that any way to live?
The other problem is, the effort you have to put in. I’ve not read Dr. Attia’s book (and have not intention of reading it, as you may have gathered by now) but I get the distinct impression that Dr. Attia and his followers will spend years of their lives on a treadmill, and eating kale.
I, meanwhile, will be having a wonderful time sitting at my computer, writing humor columns and laughing my head off.
Who’s life is really worth living?
Underrated writer Louis Cannon grew up in the vast American West, although his ex-wife, given the slightest opportunity, will deny that he ever grew up at all.