What a difference a kiss makes.
I’m not a soccer fan, and I didn’t watch the final match of the World Cup. That would be the Women’s World Cup, last month, when Spain beat England 1-0.
Apparently, no one thinks too much about that victory any longer, because, moments after the match ended, Luis Rubiales, president of the Spanish football federation, spontaneously kissed Spain’s star midfielder, Jennifer Hermoso, on the lips.
On the lips.
In front of God and everyone.
Well, not exactly ‘everyone’. I, for one, wasn’t watching the match. And I suspect most people of the 1.4 billion people in China were busy at work, making electronics for us.
Ms. Hermoso was the top scorer for Spain’s women’s team during the tournament, and from what I can tell, she’s a spirited and attractive woman.
Mr. Rubiales, meanwhile, looks like a football federation president. Which is to say, not exactly the type of man I would want kissing me immediately following a World Cup victory, in front of hundreds of cameras.
But if he did kiss me, I would probably laugh it off. Of course, I would feel uncomfortable. But also, I’m not a world-class women’s soccer player. So it’s very unlikely to have happened to me.
And that’s apparently what Ms. Hermoso also tried to do. Laugh it off.
I found this photo of her, laughing about the kiss, on the team’s bus, right after it happened.
Now, a couple of weeks later, Ms. Hermoso has filed a criminal complaint against Mr. Rubiales, alleging sexual assault. According to a recent news article, Mr. Rubiales could be facing up to four years in prison, under Spain’s new sexual consent law.
I’m naturally concerned about kisses, and going to prison. I’ve never tried to kiss a Spanish soccer star without her consent, but I did once kiss a girl, back in high school, without asking permission. We were sitting on a couch. Very close. I thought she wouldn’t mind.
I guess I felt it would be awkward to ask, “Would you mind if I just kiss you on the lips? In a consensual fashion?” But now, thinking back on the situation, she probably would have said, “Sure, knock yourself out.”
I actually ended up marrying her, several years later. So, really… no harm, no foul.
But this situation at the World Cup is very different. Mr. Rubiales and Ms. Hermoso were not sitting in close proximity on a couch, in a semi-darkened room. They were standing under bright stadium lights, in view of a million soccer fans (if you count the TV viewers)… and Mr. Rubiales really ought to have asked permission. Especially, for a kiss on the mouth. I suspect he could have slipped past — free and clear — if the kiss had been, like, on the cheek. Or maybe, on the hand.
I sincerely doubt Ms. Hermoso and Mr. Rubiales will end up getting married. But stranger things have happened.
My own marriage, for example.
There’s no way to know what the ultimate results will be, from these laws that protect women against unwanted kissing. Or in this case, a kiss that was funny at first, but later, after thinking about it, a criminal act.
I have noticed that the fertility rate in the U.S. has been declining precipitously in recent years. And in China, as well. (I have no idea if the Chinese have passed kissing laws. Maybe they are simply too busy at work.)
Based on dropping fertility rates, 23 nations — including Spain and Japan — are currently expected to see their populations decline to half, by 2100.
But maybe that’s what happens, when you put the men who kiss you in prison.
Underrated writer Louis Cannon grew up in the vast American West, although his ex-wife, given the slightest opportunity, will deny that he ever grew up at all.