PHOTO: A happy Senator.
Back when I was married to Darlene, we had a Christmas tradition that worked out rather nicely, while being highly efficient.
I would buy something special, that I wanted for Christmas… and we’re not talking socks, or a coffee mug… something really special. One year, it was new mag wheels for the Toyota. Another year, a bottle of Glenmorangie Single Malt Whisky.
The latest iPhone. Large size.
I would wrap it up with a pretty ribbon, put Darlene’s name on it, and place it under the tree, ‘From Santa’.
She would do the same thing — buy something she really wanted for Christmas, like a Mansur Gavriel Clutch, or Sony Noise Canceling Headphones — and put it under the tree with my name on it.
We’d unwrap the presents and oohhhh and ahhhh over them, and then hand them over to the rightful owner.
The best part of the arrangement? Darlene’s gift was on her credit card, and mine was on my credit card. Which is really the only fair way to do it.
I think something similar took place in Washington DC yesterday. Our Congressional representatives in the U.S. Senate gave themselves a massive $1.7 trillion spending package.
Makes my seemingly-indulgent Christmas gifts to myself look like chicken feed. Darlene’s too.
But guess who’s credit card the Senators put it on?
The spending package was approved by a bi-partisan 68-29 vote, which just goes to prove that it doesn’t make any difference which political party you belong to, once you get elected to the U.S. Senate. Spending the taxpayers’ money makes everyone happy.
Chuck Schumer is happy.
Mitch McConnell is happy.
Really. Mitch McConnell is happy. That’s his ‘happy’ face.
Joe Biden has promised to sign the bill, once it gets approved by the House of Representatives.
What… he was going to veto a spending bill? Not a chance. This is Christmas!
The lion’s share of the money — $898 billion — will be spent on ‘Defense’, which is a somewhat fallacious term, considering that the U.S. has not needed to ‘Defend’ itself against anyone since 1945. But how would it look, if the Senators told us they wanted to spend $858 billion on ‘Offense’? That would be pretty darn awkward.
The bill includes $75 million for Interior Department wildland fire suppression activities. That’s, like, slightly more than the Archuleta County budget.
The country will be well defended. Just, not against wildfire.
Most importantly, the measure bans federal employees from having the social media app TikTok on their work phones.
Another reason for Chuck Schumer to be happy. Unless, of course, Senators are considered ‘federal employees.’
Reportedly, the vote was rushed through, because a fricking cold arctic storm was headed for Washington DC, following a stopover in Colorado yesterday, and the Senators all wanted to get home for Christmas. Even though they had already opened their $1.7 trillion present. ‘From Santa’.
Underrated writer Louis Cannon grew up in the vast American West, although his ex-wife, given the slightest opportunity, will deny that he ever grew up at all.