One of the questions popular author and physicist Alan Lightman wanted to know, as he was writing his new book, The Transcendent Brain: Spirituality in the Age of Science:
What does it mean to be human in a world of increasing science and technology?
In particular, he was curious about complex human experiences such as falling in love… or feeling a connection to nature… or appreciating beauty… when science is telling us our brains are merely a collection of mindless molecules.
Some brain scientists apparently believe that it’s possible to predict who I will fall in love with, since it’s merely a matter of tracking the chemical processes and electrical circuits in the brain.
But can neuroscientists really hope to explain the mysterious world of human emotions… and successfully solve the puzzle of human attractions?
Good questions…
…if you believe ‘falling in love’ is something that happens in the brain. In my experience, ‘falling in love’ has almost nothing to do with the brain.
Okay, that’s not really fair. Of course the brain is involved. For example, you find yourself thinking, “What the hell is going on here?”
But what physicists like Dr. Lightman often ignore is that the brain has various functions that have very little relationship to one another.
There’s a part of the brain — in most people — that deals with ‘rational thought’. An example would be, “If I keep the checkbook hidden from my wife, I have a better chance of getting through the month without bouncing checks.” That’s the brain, using ’cause and effect’ reasoning.
Another part of the brain deals with what we might call ‘irrational thought’. An example might be, “If I can get that girl to kiss me, what a wonderful life I will have.”
Irrational thought is the stuff dreams are made of, and most people eventually come to understand that ‘falling in love’ happens in this mysterious part of the brain. But falling in love involves more than just the brain, as we find so eloquently encapsulated in the aphorism, “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” Some people would assign the pathway to others parts of a man’s anatomy, but we will stick with the stomach for purposes of discussion.
We will mention in passing that Mr. Lightman graduated Phi Beta Kappa with an A.B. in physics from Princeton University in 1970, after completing a senior thesis entitled, “Design and construction of a gas scintillation detector capable of time-of-flight measurements of fission isomer decays.” Exactly how he became interested in the ‘falling in love’ problem presumably related to the ‘irrational’ part of the brain.
One of the scientists Dr. Lightman interviewed for his latest book — a famous neuroscientist named Robert Desimone, PhD — tells us that scientists are making such impressive progress in understanding the chemical processes in the brain, they will eventually be able to predict with almost 100% accuracy who a person will fall in love with.
So I am thinking back to the moment I first saw Darlene — eventually, my ex-wife — standing at a bus stop in the rain, without an umbrella. I was already on the bus, and when she climbed aboard, the only empty seat was — you guessed it — next to me.
Darlene looked at me, with her big, brown, puppy dog eyes. “Do you mind if I take this seat?”
Well, the fact of the matter, she was dripping wet, and I was on my way to a job interview and really didn’t want to show up with my clothes all wet from sitting next to a dripping-wet stranger on a bus.
That was the rational part of my mind, talking.
So of course I responded, “No problem. Please, be my guest.”
Had I already fallen in love with Darlene, in that very moment? I doubt Dr. Desimone, with all his expertise in neuroscience, can tell me.
Whatever happened on the bus that morning, had nothing to do with my rational mind. I can say this with a great deal of confidence, looking back on what happened over the next 20 years.
The question I would like to see science answer isn’t “Whom will I fall in love with?” but rather “Whom will I fall out of love with, and end up regretting the whole mess?”
Underrated writer Louis Cannon grew up in the vast American West, although his ex-wife, given the slightest opportunity, will deny that he ever grew up at all.