I ran across some interesting news last Saturday… which might be fake news. But sometimes fake news is the best kind.
An article posted on the website for TV station KQED suggests that their hometown — San Francisco — is home to more dogs than children.
Reporters Lisa Pickoff-White and Ryan Levi dug into the numbers, back in 2018, and concluded that San Francisco was home to about 115,000 children under the age of 18, per the Census Bureau. (They didn’t count children over the age of 18, for some reason.) The number of dogs? According to an estimate from San Francisco Animal Care and Control, there were about 120,000 to 150,000 dogs in the city.
I’d been inspired to look into number of dogs vs. the number of children, when I found an invitation in my junk mail from Pet Partners, promoting “National Therapy Animal Day”. Apparently most animal therapists are dogs, although the profession also includes guinea pigs, rats, birds, miniature pigs, and llamas. Remarkably, these therapists never charge a fee, although they are not adverse to the occasional dog biscuit.
I realized I’d never heard anyone suggest “National Therapy Child Day”. For good reason. Children are generally the source of anxiety and depression, not the cure.
Here in Pagosa Springs, we also have dogs. And children. Possibly in that order.
A visitor to Pagosa Springs might have the impression, based on a leisurely stroll along the downtown River Walk, that dogs greatly outnumber children in our community. Even though I’m not a visitor (except in the abstract philosophical sense) I do occasionally traverse the River Walk, and would estimate that about 50% of the folks I pass are walking a dog on a leash. That’s a rough guess.
Almost no one is seen walking a child. Even fewer are seen walking a child on a leash.
The American Veterinary Medical Association estimates that about 43% of Colorado households own at least one dog. The average number is “1.6 dogs” per doggie household, which translates to “one normal-size Labrador Retriever and one cute little Yorkshire Terrier”. If we were to apply those numbers to our Pagosa households (7,170) we would end up with an estimate of 4,930 dogs.
No wonder there are so many poop-bag dispensers along the River Walk.
Meanwhile, the U.S. Census Bureau actually attempted to count the number of children in Archuleta County in 2020, with modest success. (Who can get a child to sit still long enough to count them?)
Their tally of children? About 2,365… give or take.
Based upon those numbers, we can see why statisticians and toy manufacturers are complaining about America’s declining birth rate. But Americans are resourceful people, and when you can’t find a partner who wants to have kids with you, you can always get a dog.
Personally, I’m a cat person. Fewer households in Colorado own cats than own dogs, but a cat-household typically includes two cats. One to keep your pillow warm, and one to jump up on the counter and lick the butter.
Cat owners get less exercise than dog owners — who takes their cat for a daily walk? Not me. On the other hand, a cat doesn’t sit there looking at you, giving you those sad eyes, when you’re trying to answer your emails or trim your toenails.
Most likely, however — if you live in Pagosa Springs — you own a cow. Statistically speaking, based on ‘per capita’ population numbers. Cows are the most popular pets in Archuleta County, by a long shot. Or so it would appear.
According to the U.S. Department of Agriculture, there were about 9,342 cows in Archuleta County in 2017. Unlike dogs and cats, cows stand around in the field, just waiting to be counted. “9,342” is a government number, of course, so it’s virtually guaranteed to be wrong. So let’s call it “9,000” just to be safe. (Cows were not specifically counted during the 2020 Census, because they are not allowed to vote. Sometimes I wish they were.)
This number does not include wild cows, of course… which are difficult to count because they hide behind trees when the USDA inspectors come snooping around.
As mentioned, the Census Bureau estimated the number of children in Archuleta County at about 2,365.
9,000 cows. 2,365 children.
Eat your heart out, San Francisco.
Underrated writer Louis Cannon grew up in the vast American West, although his ex-wife, given the slightest opportunity, will deny that he ever grew up at all.