READY, FIRE, AIM: How to Remember Stuff

We get older, and we start forgetting. People’s names, for example.

Appointments.

Where I left my reading glasses.

The gallon of ice cream I left on the back seat of the car.

That’s a partial list. I’m having trouble, in fact, remembering some of the things that I keep forgetting.

But there is hope for us, according to a college professor, psychologist and author named Adam Grant. He says that we shouldn’t bother marking our lecture notes with a highlighter, like we did in college — but instead we should “quiz ourselves”. I once bought a highlighter pen when I was in college, but then I forgot to use it, so that doesn’t help me much. In fact, I missed most of the lectures. And the quizzes, too, for that matter.

But “quizzing yourself” is a novel idea.

I’ve actually been doing that anyway, when I meet someone on the street and they say, “Hi, Louis!” I immediately quiz myself. “Who the hell is this person? What’s their name?” (I think they used to call that a “pop quiz”.) Usually, I draw a blank, and quickly respond, “Hey, how’re ya doing?” But they can tell, I think, from the vacant look in my eyes, that I didn’t remember their name.

Then about an hour later, I remember it. I’m not sure if Professor Grant considers that a successful quiz result, but it always makes me feel good.

The professor also suggests that you can improve your retention of important facts by sharing them with another person. In my case, I live alone with my cat, Roscoe, so I often say to Roscoe, “Did I feed you yet this morning?” Sometimes he responds, and sometimes he just gives me a dirty look.

But apparently, I should be telling him that I fed him this morning.

“Roscoe, look here, I am putting your food in your dish. Don’t come around later and act like you haven’t been fed, because a famous psychologist taught me this little memory trick.”

Then I can laugh at the dirty look.

Another memory aid suggested by Professor Grant is to “connect what you just learned with previous experiences.” He refers to this as “associative learning”. Like, for example, the gallon of chocolate ice cream that melted all over the light gray fabric in the back seat of my car last week. I have now associated the indelible brown stain with the wisdom of bringing the ice cream container inside the house and putting it in the freezer. Before it melts.

So those are three of the tricks recommended by a memory expert who has studied success and failure.

I have shared them with you, dear reader, which will no doubt help me remember them, long after this humor essay has been forgotten by everyone involved.

Of course, these recommendations will not help you forget the things you didn’t want to remember in the first place. Which, deep down, is what we’re all really looking for.

Louis Cannon

Louis Cannon

Underrated writer Louis Cannon grew up in the vast American West, although his ex-wife, given the slightest opportunity, will deny that he ever grew up at all.