Am I blue? Am I blue?
Ain’t these tears in these eyes telling you…
— ‘Am I Blue?’ by Grant Clarke & Harry Akst, 1929
Billie Holiday may have said it best, in 1947, back when people had real diseases like cholera, TB, and polio.
But what can we do, when the entire County of Archuleta has been declared — by no less than the Colorado Department of Public Health and Environment — to be “Blue”?
Just a couple of weeks earlier, we had been designated as “Orange”, much to my personal delight. I’m crazy about the color orange. Kumquats. Sunsets. Goldfish.
Orange popsicles. Cheetos. Garfield. Home Depot.
Pumpkins. Nemo. Basketballs. Peaches. Prison jumpsuits.
Wait. Strike that last one: Prison jumpsuits. Yes, they’re orange, and I love the color orange. But prison makes me think of being locked down. Which is the main problem with Level Orange. Everything was pretty much locked down. Like being in prison with no chance of parole.
Level Yellow isn’t much better, and I will gladly refrain from listing all the unpleasant things that are yellow. “Lemon” says it all. That’s how I felt when Archuleta County moved to Level Yellow. “When life gives you lemons”… wear a mask and avoid all social gatherings, and sign up for online mental health counseling.
But for some reason, Pagosa Springs jumped — literally, jumped — from Level Orange right over into Level Blue, about a week ago. Jumped right over Level Yellow without so much as a “Howdy do.”
We thought we were suffering from depression in Level Orange. Then we landed in Level Blue. And my heart is really aching.
The jazz songwriters, back in the day, had a fascinating sense of symbolism, when they referred to a person suffering from romantic rejection as being ‘blue’. I have myself suffered from romantic rejection, on occasion… and looking in the mirror, during those difficult times, I confess that I appeared to have my normal coloration. But I assure you that I felt blue.
But why “blue”? Why not use the colors “yellow” or “orange” when we’re feeling hopelessly abandoned and perhaps verging on suicide? We now know, affirmatively — thanks to the COVID ranking system here in Colorado — that “yellow” and “orange” are intended to be even more sad and oppressive than “blue”.
Of course, there is a simple explanations for these seeming mysteries. If you are writing a hit song, you definitely don’t want your repeated refrain to be “Am I Orange?” There are no words in the English language that rhyme with “Orange.” Your chances of rhyming increase exponentially if you choose, instead, “Am I Blue?”
The main problem with Level Blue, however, is that it’s so excruciatingly close to Level Green. When we were in Level Orange, we knew we were totally screwed and there was no hope for the future. Hopelessness is actually a comfortable place to be, because you can settle into your misery and not expect things to improve. Some of the happiest people on the planet are the ones without hope.
But Level Blue…
We are so close to putting this whole thing behind us — so close, so close — and yet so far.
Am I Blue?
Am I Blue?
Ain’t these tears in these eyes telling you…