Imagine having to tell God about a potential PR problem.
Oh Lord, we’re closely monitoring a situation involving a rather fiendish individual in the American government — someone very high up at the moment, but, of course, not nearly comparable to your status, up here. Although, his followers, for some reason, do seem to worship him, and according to articles in the media, this high government official has been known to call himself “the chosen one.”
Who does he think he is? This sounds serious, says The Lord.
Yes, rather serious, I’m afraid, says God’s crisis PR manager.
I’m glad you’re not sugarcoating this! For god’s sake, give me the full rundown!
This fiendish individual — who claims to have America’s evangelicals in his pocket, so to speak — may not truly believe in our precepts. His attendance at church seems spotty. We’d have to give him a failing grade in religiosity. He’s known to frequently speak falsehoods.
Good God, exclaims God! Are you certain of this?
We are, unfortunately, the crisis manager sighs.
Well, let’s get on this, ASAP, God says. You know how fast we created heaven and Earth. With our resources, we ought to be able to get this taken care of, posthaste. Right?
Of course! Of course! No worries, exclaims the PR manager. We’re on it!
I certainly hope so, God says. Keep me posted!
Harvey Radin is former senior vice president in charge of corporate communications and media relations, Bank of America Western Region. He makes his home in Redwood City, CA.