As we head into the eighth month of the 2020 coronavirus pandemic, certain industrial mask manufacturers, including 3M, Honeywell, and DuPont, are trying to agree on a set of standards and labeling language to apply to mass-produced masks, to inform the prospective user just how effectively they will filter out viral particles.
But the manufacturers can’t agree on what size particles should be measured… and who should be verifying the measurements… and who will make sure the masks actually meet the measured standards?
I think I can understand why the manufacturers are unable to come to an agreement. Particle size is important, and complicated, and while I can’t speak directly to the issue of particle size per se, I clearly remember that my ex-wife Darlene and I used to have all kinds of arguments about the ‘sizes’ of things. The size car we should buy, for example. The size of my t-shirts; no, I do not wear an XXL. We had other size issues as well, which probably don’t belong in this essay.
But for the mask companies, particle size seems to be a sticking point.
Of course, we’re facing other mask-related problems as well. There’s a huge number of people who continue to believe masks are a hoax, or bad for your health, or an intrusion on personal liberty, regardless of what reassuring language might someday be stamped or embroidered thereupon by manufacturers.
But some positive news has appeared on the medical horizon.
From the Washington Post, October 19:
This week, fast food chain Jack in the Box is giving away masks that purport to be scented like chicken, so you can inhale eau de poultry as you comply with Centers for Disease Control and Prevention guidance and local masking requirements — a win-win-win, apparently, for safety-minded chicken superfans. But here’s another odd thing (as if the very premise isn’t strange enough to begin with): According to the company’s website, the mask giveaway is a promotion for Jack in the Box’s new “Unchicken Sandwich.” That’s the brand’s new plant-based faux-bird offering, which swaps a pea-protein patty for the traditional puck.
Jack in the Box is not the first company to give away masks as a promotional item, but I’m pretty sure they’re the first to give away masks that purportedly smell like an “Unchicken Sandwich”.
I would prefer Thai food, myself. Or chocolate cake. But we will have to wait for those flavors, I suppose, until 3M and DuPont finish fighting over particle size.
Underrated writer Louis Cannon grew up in the vast American West, although his ex-wife, given the slightest opportunity, will deny that he ever grew up at all.