I’m not usually the kind of guy who buys simply naked pita chips, but things have been a bit weird for me, lately, and the City Market price was definitely attractive.
Stacy’s Pita Chips. 50 cents for a 7.3 ounce bag.
I didn’t even notice, until I got to the self-check-out, that the women draped across the package were all fully clothed, and in fact, professionally attired. They looked as if they were probably teachers and secretaries and carpenters and mental health workers… maybe even corporate CEOs.
Respectable women, even though they appeared perfectly comfortable to be floating across a package boldly labeled with the words “SIMPLY NAKED” in all caps.
As I said, things have been kind of weird for me, lately. There are moments when I feel like I living through an episode of “The Twilight Zone.” Even the packaging of inexpensive snack crackers can set me off.
Even when the packaging is celebrating the accomplishments of modern, professionally attired women.
Stacy’s RISE PROJECT was created “to help bridge the funding gap for female founders”, and — according to their website — has been connecting and empowering women business owners for years. “Stacy’s” wasn’t always a household name, but numerous people and resources have “helped this female-founded brand rise from a humble sandwich cart to the nation’s supermarkets.”
To date, Stacy’s has invested more than $300,000 to “help women rise.” Which is presumably why the women shown on the simply naked packaging are featured with outstretched arms, supporting one another as they float upwards towards financial and personal success.
So please forgive me if I wax philosophical for a moment about the term, “SIMPLY NAKED.”
Back before the pandemic, back before the arrival of Political Correctness, back before Oprah and Meghan Markle and Naomi Klein and Diane Von Furstenberg…
… back before the world got so weird, ‘simply naked’ did not refer to a professional woman dressed in a suit, working her way up the corporate ladder, or to the top of a government agency, or from a sandwich cart to the nation’s supermarkets.
There was a time when ‘simply naked’ meant ‘simply naked.’
I understand that the ‘tease’ is an essential element of human relationships — a pleasurable element, sometimes. Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t find the ‘tease’ offered by Stacy’s pita chips to be terribly effective.
If the ladies had been dressed in swimsuits? That might have worked for me. Or at least, in tank tops?
Like I said, things have been weird lately.
Underrated writer Louis Cannon grew up in the vast American West, although his ex-wife, given the slightest opportunity, will deny that he ever grew up at all.