Apparently, the ongoing worldwide campaign for justice and equality has recently resulted in some statutes of historical white supremacists getting torn down or removed… in the US, in South Africa, in Sweden, in Great Britain. A statue of Cecil Rhodes, the Englishman who dreamed of making the entire continent of Africa into one big slave market, was removed from the grounds of the University of Cape Town back in March. The ‘larger-than-lifesize’ statue had been installed decades ago, overlooking the university’s rugby field.
Some white commentators have suggested that Rhodes was punished enough, having to sit and watch black and white students happily playing rugby together. But following active student protests, the university council voted to remove the statue.
Over here, on the other side of historical slave trading route, statues of famous white men have fallen. Jefferson Davis. Robert E Lee. Christopher Columbus. The list goes on.
According to the news, in Eastern Europe, even some statues of Vladimir Lenin bit the dust recently, a guy who’s only crime was being born Russian.
This activity has caused some consternation in the little Colorado town of Stinkwater Springs, where the only statues in town consist of some dinosaurs, oversized roosters, rearing horses, and flower bouquets made out of recycled tin, for sale uptown at Juanita’s Mexican Treasures.
Dozens of statues, and not a single white supremacist among them.
Not to be outdone by the larger cities in Colorado and elsewhere, the Stinkwater County Commissioners have come up with a surprising innovative approach.
“Historically, we’ve seen our share of racial oppression here in our little community,” explained County Commissioner Jerry Waddles, speaking last week to the Stinkwater Political Women’s Luncheon Society.
“And I’m ashamed to admit that some of the racism — not all, but some of it — has been perpetrated by the County government itself.
“We don’t have any statues, yet, dedicated to famous County Commissioners.” Commissioner Waddles gave the luncheon women his well-known movie star smile, and a wink. “Not yet. That could happen in the future, of course.”
The audience treated him to some polite applause.
“But we can still make a big statement in support of equality during this time of citizen unrest,” the commissioner continued. “You will be pleased to know that your elected County Commissioners have decided to tear down the County Courthouse. It’s a perfectly functional building, and has been serving as home to your County government since 1928. But your County Commissioners have big plans to put the community millions of dollars in debt that we probably can’t afford, building new facilities.
“Ladies, we must address the demands for justice and equality, everywhere in America. So when you all watch the Courthouse collapsing into a pile of worthless dust, you can stand up proudly and know that your community doesn’t tolerate injustice.
“And for those of you who might be worried about the enormous American flag we recently installed on the side of the Courthouse — don’t worry. We will take that down first, before we destroy the building.”
The ladies gave the commissioner a standing ovation.
Underrated writer Louis Cannon grew up in the vast American West, although his ex-wife, given the slightest opportunity, will deny that he ever grew up at all.