READY, FIRE, AIM: Pleading the Fifth

One of the best things about America is something people generally don’t like to talk about.  Because they think there’s something… not quite right about it?

I’m referring to the Fifth Amendment.

At one point in time — 2016 — candidate Donald Trump was pretty upset, when he heard that some of Hillary Clinton’s aides were pleading the Fifth Amendment. We generally hear about criminals pleading the Fifth.  What business did the aides of the U.S. Secretary of State have refusing to answer questions that might incriminate them?

“So there are five people taking the Fifth Amendment, like you see on the mob, right?” Trump told the crowd at an Iowa rally, during the 2016 presidential race. “You see the mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?”

But last Wednesday, our former president asserted that he, himself, had made effective use of the Fifth Amendment during his deposition with New York Attorney General Letitia James.

The former president explained:

“I once asked, ‘If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?’ Now I know the answer to that question.  When your family, your company and all the people in your orbit have become the targets of an unfounded, politically motivated witch hunt supported by lawyers, prosecutors and the fake news media, you have no choice…”

“Accordingly, under the advice of my counsel and for all of the above reasons, I declined to answer the questions under the rights and privileges afforded to every citizen under the United States Constitution.”

In case anyone has accidentally forgotten about the Fifth Amendment… like, you know, ‘out of sight, out of mind’… maybe you’re not a member of the mob or the federal government?  And your constitutional rights could had easily slipped your mind?

In that case, a reminder.  The amendment reads like this:

No person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a Grand Jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the Militia, when in actual service in time of War or public danger; nor shall any person be subject for the same offence to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb; nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just compensation.

… the pertinent part being (if you worked for the federal government, or owned a business in New York) “…nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself…”

Which can be interpreted nowadays more liberally, as either “against himself” or “against herself”… or even, as “against themselves”, for people who are neither “him” nor “her”.

The Fifth Amendment refers only to “criminal cases”, of course, but I’ve often wished the Founding Fathers had included the phrase, “or during an interrogation by your wife.”

I think the same general rule should apply, if you happen to stumble in the door at 4am, without a good excuse.  (Maybe no excuse is good enough?)

According to the fake news media, former president Trump took the Fifth over 400 times, while refusing to answer questions during last week’s deposition.

That’s one uncomfortable thing about the Fifth Amendment.  You can’t just say, “Sorry, I’m not going the answer any of your stupid questions, because the Fifth Amendment protects me against self-incrimination…” and be done with it.   You actually have to plead the Fifth every single time you’re asked a question you don’t want to answer.

You have to say something like, “I respectfully invoke my rights under the Fifth Amendment of the U.S. Constitution on the grounds that answering your question may incriminate me.”

I really can’t imagine saying that, 400 times.  When I used to get cross-examined by my wife Darlene (now, my ex-wife) I would just turn on the TV and simply refuse to talk. The trouble with that particular approach being, you end up with an ex-wife.

According to the fake news media, the only question Donald Trump answered, during a six-hour deposition, was his name.

Darlene already knew my name, of course.  But I don’t think she ever read the Constitution.

Louis Cannon

Underrated writer Louis Cannon grew up in the vast American West, although his ex-wife, given the slightest opportunity, will deny that he ever grew up at all.