HMPRESENTLY: Just Be Cool and Quit Messing Around, Says God

Imagine a day it finally happens.

All over the place, the sky is roiling, and it’s not some hurricane named Madge or Lloyd. It is, at last, a divine intervention.

roiling sky

And folks, worldwide, looking skyward, can’t tell exactly what they’re seeing. It’s a face, but no one can tell for sure if it’s a Caucasian face, or a face of color, or if it’s one particular nationality, or even if it’s a straight, or gay, face. Even the gender is indiscernible.

And then the voice rings out. Maybe a male’s, or a female’s, voice.

And the voice says:

How come it’s so musty up here? And there’s all this space junk! I’m bobbing and weaving, as it’s flying by. I’m away for a few million years, and look what happens!

Now, I want you all to get this straight. Pay close attention, because I’m not going to repeat myself!

“You shall have no other gods before Me.” Maybe you’ve let that one, in the Ten Commandments, slide? Because, the last I heard, Donald Trump is not Me.

And then, hearing the voice reminding everyone; “You shall not steal,” a whole lot of folks, down below, start shuddering. Everyone from everyday folks, folks in business, and folks in politics. They’re all shuddering like the devil… so to speak.

“You shall not murder,” says the voice. Well, you’ve sure blown that one, haven’t you? Don’t get me wrong. Not each and every one of you, thank god! (I’ve got this habit of thanking myself, sometimes). But some of you so-called world leaders, waging wars because of one belief or another… even with religious beliefs as the reason! Does that make sense… when you think about it?

I’m going to paraphrase, here, with this reminder that; You shall not covet things. Years ago, that included your neighbor’s wife or servants, and oxen and donkeys. That’s all different, these days… in a way.

Lately, various politicians, in particular, are acting so super-religious, if you know what I mean? Listen! If you want to know about super-religious beliefs and practices, I have a fair bit of expertise on that. And all I can say when I’m hearing folks in politics, and all, pontificating all over the place, is… ‘Good god!’

I do, occasionally, say that, when I’m getting all agitated.

Did I tell you the atmosphere up here, and down where you all are, is pretty musty? The time has come to clean up your act.

And so… my final words to you, for now are; Just be cool, everyone! Quit messing around!

And with that, it’s over and out, for that voice heard around the globe, for maybe another million, or so, years.

And the roiling sky becomes calm.

Harvey Radin

Harvey Radin is former senior vice president in charge of corporate communications and media relations, Bank of America Western Region. He makes his home in Redwood City, CA.