The sun came up this morning, just like I predicted it would.
I sometimes amaze myself with my ability to foretell the future. And also, with my ability to understand human motivations.
I was reading a book the other day. Not because I needed to learn anything new, but more for entertainment purposes… the entertainment consisting mainly in identifying statements made by the author, which were wrong.
In this particular book — supposedly “non-fiction”, but what does that even mean nowadays? — anyway, in this particular book, the author suggested that our most basic goal in life is ‘survival’. Supplying ourselves with sufficient water and food, avoiding hungry predators, keeping our phones charged, and just generally ‘making it through the day’ to watch the sun come up the next morning.
(Well, I seem to have accomplished that part of it, for today at least!)
This is not a new idea, by any means, to judge by the number of best-selling authors and TED Talk lecturers who’ve promoted this whole ‘survival’ concept. It’s an idea intimately connected with Darwin’s theories about evolution and ‘survival of the fittest’. We are all walking around, trying to survive, so we can be handed the golden ‘Survival of the Fittest’ trophy during the awards ceremony.
Granted, that’s a slight simplification of the theory. You don’t actually get the trophy yourself; it goes to your progeny, who are hopefully even more fit to survive than you are. When referring to progeny, Darwin didn’t specifically talk about sex because… well, people simply didn’t talk about sex in those days… but his theory really hinges on the idea that ‘offspring’ are produced at some point in the story.
The evolution theory completely falls apart without offspring being born to the ‘fittest’ examples of the species.
As a side note, the Bible says pretty much the same thing, right at the very beginning. Genesis 1:28. “And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth…” (God didn’t specifically use the word “sex” either, but I think it was implied. As things turned out, He didn’t need to be explicit. Folks figured it out.)
We witness, here, that God did not say, “Go forth and survive, and provide scientific evidence for the theory of evolution.”
My point being, survival is all well and good, and so is multiplication. But those of us blessed with a healthy dose of skepticism will argue (as I intend to do, right now) that just making it through the day, well-fed and alive, with our phones properly charged, is not the primary goal of human existence.
Our ultimate goal, as humans, is to be ‘right’ and to prove the other guy ‘wrong’.
When I think of all the times I was sent to bed, as a child, without any supper, just because I had proved my father wrong! Even at that young age, I gladly faced starvation rather than concede that my father knew more about dinosaurs than I did. (He did not. And still doesn’t.)
The fact that I voluntarily opted to go hungry, as a child, is not exactly scientific evidence for my theory, but it’s some kind of evidence.
As we mature, our basic need to assert our intellectual superiority does not lessen. The human compulsion to be ‘right’ surpasses even the desire to be fruitful and multiply, as any of our male readers will attest, as they spend the night sleeping on the living room couch following a triumphant intellectual victory over the person who will ultimately become their ex-wife.
Who, in America, has been ‘right’ more often than anyone else? Our former president, Donald Trump. Even when he’s totally making stuff up, he is right. Yes, he has also survived, and even been fruitful and has multiplied, but mostly, he’s been ‘right’… and for that, he commands the adoration and reverence of half the nation… the half that likewise believes they are ‘right’. (Which is really no different from the other half.)
Many commentators have complained, recently, about the polarization in America — about the fact that we seem unable to agree on anything at all. We’re arguing about climate change… and abortion… and COVID-19… and gun ownership… and civil rights, and… gosh, we’re even arguing about marijuana. (I vaguely remember a time when we were all too stoned to argue about marijuana.)
If the most basic, primal human urge is to prove yourself right and the other guy wrong — which I am absolutely correct in asserting — then America is in better shape than it’s ever been. We’re watching the disappearance of the Meek & Mild American, the man who didn’t have an opinion, the woman who was afraid to argue with her husband. Now unfolding before our very eyes: an America where everyone is goddamned sure they are ‘right’.
A psychologist named Mel Schwartz wrote an article for Psychology Today, a few years back: “Why Is It So Important to Be Right?”
As a marriage counselor, I often ask people if they’d rather be right, or if they’d rather be happy. Although nearly everyone says they would prefer happiness, the battle enjoins over right or wrong. If you pause and consider it, it’s really insane, isn’t it?
I’m pausing right now, and considering it. Would I rather be right, or would I rather be happy?
Call me ‘really insane’, but I can’t feel happy unless I’m right.