Image: Moses gets a glimpse of the Promised Land. Painting by Benjamin West, 1801.
I will bring you up out of the affliction of Egypt to the land of the Canaanites and the Hittites and the Amorites and the Perizzites and the Hivites and the Jebusites, to a land flowing with milk and honey…
— Exodus 3:17
It took my parents a while to determine that, as a child, I was allergic to cow’s milk.
Apparently, the Hebrews didn’t have that problem, because when God promised them a land flowing with milk and honey, they totally went for it. It wouldn’t have sounded like such a good deal, if they’d been allergic.
Fortunately, this land — occupied at the time by a number of indigenous tribes — was within walking distance of Egypt. Granted, it was a long walk, but still feasible, even in sandals.
When God said “I will bring you up”, He meant, “I’ll give you the directions, but you’ll have to walk.”
Why, exactly, God thought a promise of “milk and honey” would be attractive to the Hebrews, I’m not sure. “Chocolate” might have been even more attractive. Or, like, a nice big juicy steak. I would have walked a long way for a nice big juicy steak.
Nevertheless, it appears that “milk and honey” was good enough for the Hebrews.
Later on, the Hebrews found out that the milk had to be Kosher. For anyone who is unfamiliar with Kosher dietary laws, I should mention that the Hebrews were allowed, according to the Torah, to consume milk from cows, sheep and goats, but not from camels or pigs. Which is probably the main reason why — to this day — it is nearly impossible to find camel milk or pig milk in the grocery store.
But you can find almond milk, and soy milk, which is some kind of consolation.
The Torah also directed the Hebrews to avoid eating meat and milk at the same meal. So, like, they couldn’t eat bologna and cheese sandwiches.
At least that’s the interpretation. What the Torah actually said, the Book of D’varim, chapter 14, was:
You shall not boil a young goat in its mother ‘s milk.
But somehow, that got interpreted to mean, “You can’t eat dairy and meat at the same meal.” Even the cookware had to be kept separate. A Hebrew following this interpretation had to have two sets of cookware: one for dairy and one for meat.
Although I don’t follow the Kosher laws, I would never boil a young goat in its mother’s milk. For one thing, it seems horribly disrespectful of the mother, and also, I don’t like goat boiled in milk, period.
I finally outgrew my allergy to milk, but truth be told, I don’t really like the flavor of milk. This might be a psychological reaction to my allergy problems as a child. So I tend to choose almond milk, which is not really milk at all. You can boil a young goat in almond milk and no one will have a problem with it. But I prefer to use my almond milk in my breakfast oatmeal.
If God had sent the Hebrews to a land of almond milk and honey, a lot of difficulties could have been avoided.
When you look at how the world operates, however, it’s pretty obvious that the whole point is to have difficulties which you can struggle to overcome, and then pat yourself on the back.
People tend to think of “a land of milk and honey” as a place where the living is easy. But in fact, it’s a place where you have to own two sets of cookware, and Philly cheese steak sandwiches are off the menu.
Underrated writer Louis Cannon grew up in the vast American West, although his ex-wife, given the slightest opportunity, will deny that he ever grew up at all. You can read more stories on his Substack account.