Our elected legislators in Denver seem to enjoy nothing more than creating new laws. They get together in January every year and furiously make laws for 120 days, until mid-May, at which point they are presumably exhausted, so they take the rest of the year off.
The rest of us are then expected to learn about and follow the new laws.
Good luck with that one.
To keep us from becoming overloaded with expectations of good behavior, however, the legislators sometimes specify that the law won’t take effect until the following January… or in some cases, two or more years into the future.
To allow us to prepare, and get ready. Or, to become resigned to the new burden.
So some of the laws that have kicked in on January 1 this year, were signed a couple of years ago, and were waiting, just around the corner, to surprise us.
One of the most impactful laws to go into effect in January — impactful for me, at any rate — is a ban on using cell phones and other handheld electronics while driving. It also expands the existing ban on texting while driving.
Under this law, a driver is not allowed to use their phone, handheld, while driving… including at stoplights. The first violation will cost you $75 and two license suspension points, but you can get the charges dismissed if you provide proof of buying a hands-free accessory such as a dashboard mount, Apple CarPlay, or Android Auto system.
It’s the part about “including at stoplights” that really rankles me. Do they even know how long the red light is, at Lewis Street?
Curiously, the law doesn’t apply to someone with a commercial driver’s license driving a commercial vehicle. Which confirms that our legislators have a sense of humor.
Another law, concerning “the confinement requirements for egg-laying hens”, was passed in 2020 but went into effect on January 1. It requires that hens live in a cage-free enclosure system, and prohibits grocery stores from selling eggs laid by hens who were confined in cages. It applies to chickens, turkeys, ducks, geese, and guinea fowl hens. So long as they are laying eggs.
Colorado joins Arizona, California, Massachusetts, Michigan, Nevada, Oregon, Rhode Island, Washington and Utah with a cage-free law. For egg-layers. When you stop laying eggs, watch out.
If the birds themselves going to be eaten, then we can go ahead and confine them, day and night and twice on Sunday. That way, they will be grateful to be put out of their misery.
Then, we have the sperm donor law.
In 2022, Colorado became the first U.S. state to outlaw anonymous sperm donations. (By human males.) But the law didn’t go into effect until this year. So I can imagine the sperm donors were doing everything possible to remain anonymous for the past two years.
The law also applies to egg donors. (That is, human females. Must be cage-free, I assume?)
Under the new law, sperm and egg donors must agree to have their identity released to children conceived from their donations, when the child turns eighteen. That way, the child can possibly discover how they ended up with such big ears, or why they’re double-jointed.
Other changes made by the 2022 law, including limiting donors to contributing to no more than 25 families, had gone into effect previously. It’s the “no more anonymous” part that kicked in on January 1.
As a potential donor, I was curious what, exactly, is meant by “limited to 25 families.” A family can be a pretty big entity. For example, a “family” can technically include Grandma and Grandpa, and who knows how many Grandchildren, and I assume also Stepmothers and Stepfathers.
And apparently, I can donate to 25 such families? I have to assume this law was passed in mid-May, when the legislators were exhausted and not really paying attention.
Reportedly, a number of doctors who were running sperm donation clinics were actually fathering dozens and dozens of children without revealing their identities to the families. My parents always hoped I would become a doctor, and now I understand why.
Another law that went into effect this month increased the amount of money plaintiffs can receive in malpractice cases.
So, good thing I didn’t become a doctor!