People with average IQs outperform those with the highest IQs 70 percent of the time…
— from the article, “Are You Emotionally Intelligent? Here’s How to Know for Sure” by Travis Bradberry, in Inc. magazine, May 2015.
Dr. Bradberry’s magazine article from 2015 focused mainly on ‘EQ’ rather than ‘IQ’. EQ is a measurement of your ’emotional intelligence’.
Up until a few days ago, I had never heard of emotional intelligence, even though it could very well be my strong suit.
My lack of familiarity might seem surprising, considering that my IQ test, back in college, showed I had “above average” intelligence. But apparently that means I will be outperformed 70 percent of the time.
Luckily, we have convenient access these days to nine-year-old magazine articles, from which we can glean important information that we could have gleaned many years ago, before everything went to hell.
In fact, the idea of ‘Emotional Intelligence’ was first made popular in 2005, by author Daniel Goleman, in a groundbreaking book aptly named, Emotional Intelligence.
Mr. Goleman’s best-selling book offered a reasonable explanation for why smart people are sometimes miserable failures, and why people with below-average intelligence often get elected President.
Dr. Bradberry has taken Daniel Goleman’s ideas a step further. From his Inc. magazine article:
Decades of research now point to emotional intelligence as being the critical factor that sets star performers apart from the rest of the pack. The connection is so strong that 90 percent of top performers have high emotional intelligence.
Despite the significance of EQ, its intangible nature makes it difficult to measure and to know what to do to improve it if you’re lacking. You can always take a scientifically validated test, such as the one that comes with the Emotional Intelligence 2.0 book, but unfortunately, most such tests aren’t free.
Emotional Intelligence 2.0 was written in 2009 by Dr. Bradberry and co-author Dr. Jean Greaves.
In his magazine article, Dr. Bradberry thoughtfully lists 18 qualities indicative of a high EQ, on the outside chance you don’t have time to read his entire book, or you can’t afford the $5.99 for a used copy at ThriftBooks.com
I’m pretty familiar with six of the indicators. The other ones, I’ll have to work on… lest I continue to be outperformed.
You have a robust emotional vocabulary.
If you have a high EQ, you will know a bunch of words related to various emotional states, as you observe them in yourself and in other people. Sure, anyone can tell when their wife is upset, but a husband with a high EQ will have access to a wide vocabulary for describing precisely her emotional state, when he shares the story with the bartender down at the Pagosa Bar.
“She seems upset” doesn’t allow for a deeper understanding of the situation, in the same way as, for example, “She feels anxious (about her new haircut?)” or “She feels frustrated (by the way the meatloaf turned out?)” or “She feels browbeaten (because I called her a raging bitch?)”
Or maybe she just drank too much coffee.
In any case, a robust vocabulary can help you choose the right corrective actions. (Usually, flowers will do the trick.)
You’re curious about people.
I’m curious about people. Mostly, I wonder how they could be so stupid. But a person with a high EQ will wonder not only how they could be so stupid, but also why they are so stupid. And can anything be done about it?
You embrace change.
Fear of change can be paralyzing, knowing that the unexpected is lurking around every corner. Especially if you’re in some kind of committed relationship. People with a high EQ will have a plan for dealing with inevitable changes, like knowing which friend has a comfortable couch you can sleep on, when your better half kicks you out of the house.
You give and expect nothing in return.
I have that kind of relationship with my cat, Roscoe. If only my ex-wife had felt the same way?
You don’t seek perfection.
I don’t set perfection as my personal target because I know it doesn’t exist. And I don’t expect other people to be perfect, either. Based on the evidence.
Human beings, by our very nature, ruin everything we touch. So, like, suck it up and have another beer.
You won’t let anyone limit your joy.
And there’s nothing wrong with following that up with beer number three… or even number four. Heck, they came in a six-pack, so why not have at it? A high EQ shouldn’t limit your joy.
You can read about the other 12 signs in Dr. Bradberry’s Inc.com article. Which I assume you will want to do, if you have a high EQ.
Or if you want to appear to have a high EQ.
Underrated writer Louis Cannon grew up in the vast American West, although his ex-wife, given the slightest opportunity, will deny that he ever grew up at all.